Last night I was raped by my long estranged brother. I'm not even surprised anymore and I only feel angry at myself for letting me get into the situation in the first place.

Long story short, he was abusive when we were children, and we ended up separated in the foster care system. Kept in touch very sporadically over the years. A week ago he finds me on insta, wants to get together for a coffee to talk and check in on me.

Every bone in my body said "NO" remembering fully well what he was like. But naturally my brain says "it's been forever. You're family. It's been over a decade since anything happened"

Well guess what? I should have fucking listened. Literally comical at this point how often "no" from me is basically ignored, but it makes sense now when I don't listen to it myself.