Has anyone ever healed from coercive sex (sex under duress) with a significant other and continued the relationship?

Recently, I had a lightbulb go off in my head.

I’ve been having coercive sex (sex under duress) with my boyfriend.

I didn’t even understand this until I was on a Reddit. I’m disturbed and I want therapy because I feel like I need it.

My boyfriend suggested moving in together and it stressed me out. We’ve been taking a break.

He got mad if we didn’t do it every single day. The next day, I would “owe” him sex twice. I never understood that this was not love. I just thought sex is love if it wasn’t like a violent rape.

It didn’t matter whether I worked a 16 hour day. I even fell asleep during the movies once and I’m a night owl. He still wanted sex.

When I haven’t, he has pouted the entire day, been a total b****, and given me the silent treatment.

It had gotten so bad to the point that I would just say, ok let’s do this. A lot of times I would dissociate, try to make myself believe I wanted it and try to get into it. or I would just lie there and just be still, sometimes with most of my clothes still on while he did his thing.

I just wanted him to love me and have fun together. It wasn’t always that way. I did it so I could enjoy my day with him without that hanging over my head.

The worst is when my family notices his behavior and asks me what is wrong with him. One time, he was mad that we didn’t leave my family’s house sooner because he wanted to have sex. My mom cooked a homemade meal and we were watching a movie together/playing games. My mom even made dessert for us.

When we got back to our place, he was mad. He made me cry about it. I was totally caught off guard. I was a dumba** and had sex with him anyway.

I didn’t realize how bad this was mentally f****** me up. Not only that he barely even tries to hug or cuddle me. It never felt like he was having sex with me because he loved me, maybe at the beginning. To be honest, I don’t even know whether I’ve ever experienced that…like I question whether that even exists.

I’ve always had a healthy sex drive. But I started losing it toward him when he started treating me this way. Also, I’m preparing for a new job. He barely seemed to care and is intent on fighting/arguing with me for weeks about the status of our relationship and living situation every day. I’ve been sleeping almost 24/7, barely eating, and barely have enough energy to do anything. I told him I would have to cut him off if he cannot give me space as I don’t have the energy to deal with this rn.

Has anyone recovered from this in a relationship?