Trigger Warning (R***/SA)

Okay background.... I have been raped twice. Once as a kid and once in college. When it comes to being intimate now, I get very nervous and can get triggered/panicked very easily. Due to this I tend to avoid situations where I might become uncomfortable and I tend to not go out with guys because I feel bad if they want to be intimate and I don't. Just recently I discovered that there was something that calmed me down enough to realize it was okay to open up..... I think I a seriously crazy for this lol... but I have been hanging around a guy for awhile and is very patient with me and understands that I need to take things slow.... The other day, we were play fighting and he started tickling me. Immediately it was like all my anxiety went away and I was ready to fuck him.... except I could not figure out why....then a couple days after the same thing happened again.... and then once more and I thought about it for awhile and then I realized that I think the tickling was a comfort for me... It was almost like it unlocked trust in me.... I'm not even sure if this makes sense to anyone else... I am just trying to figure out if anyone has an idea to why? Am I crazy for thinking this is what opened me up? Do I tell him how I am feeling? Is it crazy to think that being tickled is helping me heal? The entire idea was crazy to me at first but it is the only thing I can think of.....

Any thoughts will be super appreciated!!

UPDATE: I do see a therapist!! A few people have reached out to check so I figured I would just add it... I was just wondering what other people thought about it - I guess I wanted to get a consensus lol