I’m just an undergraduate college student, admittedly not a big consumer of social media and so I present this brief opinionated piece from my limited perspective.

The other day I begrudgingly logged into Facebook (Meta) to wish an old elementary school friends of mine a happy birthday- 22 years old to be exact. As I was doomscrolling through my newsfeed, my eyes became privy to an article about a woman who had sex with “over 100” men in a 24 hour period. Maybe it was 101 to be exact. I can’t recall. I skimmed through the article, but what struck me wasn’t OnlyFans’ influence Lily Phillips quest to sleep with 1,000 men — or however many she intends to have sex with. It’s quite frankly none of my business. I can agree or disagree with her decision — I’m entitled to my opinion, but that’s all it is — just my opinion.

What really stood out to me was the myriad of criticism and, as expected when it comes to women who are sexually voracious, the vitriolic rhetoric and sexist sentiments being directed towards her. Skimming through the hundreds of comments on the various articles covering her in the last several days, I noticed a constant. The lack of criticism for the dozens of MEN who decided to partake in this endeavor. It reminded me as a young college male of the inherent privilege of being a man- the freedom to make choices regarding my sexuality without fear of repercussions or public scrutiny. Realizing that in 2024, women’s “worth” is heavily tied to sexual behavior whether we choose to admit it or not. The constant in the comments proved that as a society we feel entitled to critique a woman’s choices when it comes to how little or how much sex she chooses to have. There is no winning. You’re either a “prude” who embraces the 4B movement or you’re a “slut” who sleeps with multiple men. It’s society’s way of telling women that you need to find that “fine line,” that “medium” that doesn’t offend. Anything outside of that rigid line and you’re fair game for criticism.

To everyone who was, is and will be quick to judge Lily Phillips and the ones who came before her or may come after her, before you engage your keyboard, please pause and engage your brain. Is your criticism and opinion pragmatic and nuanced? If you are willing to label her and the choices she’s made, would you be doing the same had Lily Phillips been a man? Why do women who are unapologetic about their sexuality terrify us? These are hard questions that require introspection in all of us. I’m hardly a good writer and writing has never been my strong suit- but something jolted inside of me that was previously dormant, and that was the realization that we are far from accepting and comfortable with women’s sexuality — and we need to call it out when we see it.