From no socialized healthcare, to the hustle culture, the extreme individualism, the lack of community. The hyper capitalism. I hate how you are supposed to wing everything here. The ppl I'm related to caring nothing about COVID. The politics moving far-right here in the US. The communities I belong to, getting their basic human rights wiped out. And so, so much more.

I have been living here all my life, and in spite of all the relatives and others around me, I do not feel at home whatsoever. I crave a simple lifestyle and a community with loving ppl, where we look out for one another and still keep our autonomy at the same time. I just want to sit by someone near a river or creek and just talk.

I suffer from several mental illnesses, and the nightmarish hellhole of the US makes it ten million times worse. I keep reaching out to ppl, trying to build something, and it doesn't work at all. I do everything I can, but...sigh, you can't heal in the environment that gave you tremendous pain/trauma. Hopefully I will find a home someday.