Hello everyone, first time posting here, I just want to share some thoughts with you all.
TL;DR: Teenagers need to be encouraged to make their own experiences and decide for themselves what to do with their free time.

For any parents that might feel personally attacked, just don't. I'm just a guy telling some anecdotes. I don't want to make anyone angry, I just want to have you think about what you're doing and the deep consequences of that.

So:

I am 20, my main occupation is leading my own re-enacting group which I founded in 2020. For anyone that doesn't know, you can think of re-enacting as sort of historical dress-up/teather school/boy scouts/airsoft all mixed together. It's a healthy, safe and very instructive hobby for any and all people to enjoy, girls and little children included.

My hobby has led me to meet a huge variety of people, most of them very young, in an attempt to give this re-enacting business a shot and maybe join us in our fun shenanigans. A pattern I have noticed very clearly is this:

Most of the time, young people are in control of their free time, mostly. They can ask their parents for transport to an event (sometimes even a long family trip might be necessary, re-enacting can be very demanding), they can ask their family for the money to buy a full kit, they are entrusted with the capability of judging for themselves if I and my group are trustworthy or not and so forth. All of this: huzzah!

Sometimes though, around 15-20% of the time, you have people that have very, very possessive parents. To the point of making me question the health of the relationship. I met a boy whose parents would randomly forbid him from leaving the house, at all, within days of a major re-enacting event for which he was extremely hyped for and had been planning for months.

One friend of mine sometimes gets into fights with his family where they just grab all of his historical kit and lock it up somewhere, knowing full well that that is literally his only hobby and source of entratainment on weekends.

I recently spoke with a girl whose parents would not allow her to text anyone that:

• wasn't within 1 year of her age

-or they didn't know completely since years

-or they didn't completely and unquestioningly trust

Now. How is a teenager supposed to make friends, have a social life, interact with the world in an enviorement like that? The people such as this are all, almost without fail, plagued with issues in socialization and self esteem. And how could they not??? You're preventing them from interacting with anyone that isn't in their well established comfort zone and actively punishing any attempts at making friends.

Parents taking phones away from their kids, parents ripping the cables out of sockets instead of trying to talk to their children, parents preventing their kid from cherishing their passion out of spite. YOU ARE ACTIVELY HURTING THEM!

YOU are the main issue in your child's life. If you weren't constantly trying to get in the way of your kid, he would be having a better, more happy, more succesful life.

Let me outline some of the issues I have with this:

-A passion can turn into a job. I am studying for my Bachelor's degree in History. I would, almost certainly, not be if my parent's hadn't fostered my passion for re-enacting and allowed me to fend for myself in the real world, where I could come up with my own devices and friends to give myself new stimulating situations to hang out in.

-When you're spoon-feeding every single activity and friend your child is allowed to do/have, you're rendering them incapable of knowing where to look for friends, activities and opportunities. Let them figure it out for themselves.

-Your child will be left alone. If every time I want to invite you and your child to an event I have to go trough this 3-month process of, every single day, talking with you or him, changing plans, arranging for things which you will then change, trying to explain what this is about for the 17th time this week, assure you that yes, we do know how to feed everyone 3 times a day and so on... eventually I will give up. The effort I need to put in does not pay back, as much as I love the company of your child and love re-enacting with him. You're making it too time consuming to do, so eventually I will stop asking him out. Now multiply this with every friend and friend group. Eventually he will start to become that "poor kid with weird parents" to everyone. You are actively hurting him.

-You are not stopping anyone. Kids have internet nowadays, like it or not. Keeping them locked in their room is no longer enough to cut someone off from the world. Even just going out to school means they will have an avenue from which to escape your rules. Kids will find a way to break your rules. You shouldn't forbid your kid from doing something bad, you should teach him how and why to avoid it.

-You are on the same team. Your kid is not trying to defy your rules or trying to go against you. Your job as a parent is not to be the ruler of his life, it's to guide him to what's right and, most importantly, help him get himself up when he messes something up.

Huh, that feels better. Thanks to anyone that will actually read trough this all, I'd love to hear your piece on this.

Let me repeat myself: parents, this is not an accusation. I am just telling you what I have seen happen, over and over, to a lot of children. I'm not trying to shame you, I understand your fear for your child, the expectations you have for him and the terror of seeing come up differently from how you wanted him to. But that can't be an excuse for becoming a jailer or a master. You are a friend, a teacher and a leader.

Act like one.

EDIT: apologies for the sloppy English. It's not my first language and it's a bit late for me :)