I finally snapped on my Narc mother tonight. Warning long.

Some quick background, I'm 35 disabled and forced to live with my parents because I have no money to go elsewhere. My father is normal if ultra-religious, unfortunately he doesn't believe in divorce. My mother is a covert narcissist. She is quietly demeaning, critical, an alcoholic, and like most narcissists whenever you confront her about this she is the queen of excuses or shifting the blame.

My parents had gone on vacation about two weeks ago. They were supposed to be gone for ten days. My father was looking forward to this as he is the only one working right now and obviously needed the break, my mother is usually better behaved on vacations than normally. I was looking forward to this because I desperately needed the break from my mother. Alas this vacation was not to be, any little bit of stress makes my mother's narc traits so much worse and this vacation our 10 year old lab got sick. He has spine issues and probably won't last another year. He is her favorite, mainly I think because dogs can't tell if you are a narc. So she acted up in a big way, constant calls and texts. Threats to come back early, constant criticism of everyone. Basically she made everyone miserable.

So they came back late this past Thursday night and immediately she starts being quietly critical of how I'd taken care of the dog. Little comments about how if she was there what she would have done, little digs about how or when I gave him his meds. I ended up walking out going upstairs and locking my door.
Queue a couple hours later. She got into her vodka. She takes my cat and throws him into my fathers room. (Yes they sleep in separate beds and in separate rooms. She regularly gets drunk on vodka at nights and becomes completely intolerable, often blaring the TV or staying up until 3AM or later.) My father has work in the morning and starts yelling at her for waking him up. According to her my cat, who is a kitten still, was racing around the house and scaring the dogs. Yeah the little dude has energy but I'd been staying up late while they were gone and while he did occasionally run around he didn't wake anyone up, and even if he did why would she throw him in my fathers room when he has work the next morning? Situation is eventually resolved and my cat comes upstairs with me, my father returns to sleep and my mother continues to drink. I actually came downstairs maybe 30 minutes later and she was crying over the dog who was dead to the world as he is on a lot of pain meds and she smells like a distillery, just vodka fumes wafting off of her.

Anyway Friday she continues to be terrible but in quiet ways. Small digs and put downs, almost too small to call her out on or well disguised enough she would say that we took what she said the wrong way.

Saturday rolls around and I'm an anxious mess, my disability is General Anxiety Disorder and Panic Attack Disorder so you can imagine how fun she is to be around. I wake up every day at 8AM to give the dog his morning meds. This morning I'm really out of it, I'd had panic attacks during the night and been woken up at least twice. So I give the dog his meds and immediately go back to sleep. I'm woken up by her when she gets up at about noon to ask if he'd gotten his meds. I've been giving him his meds literally every morning for about two weeks. She doesn't on average wake up until noon, she knows this but she wants to be a jerk and so wakes me up. I'm then proceeded to be woken up no less than two more times in the coming hours.

Finally I start feeling a little better and my father and I discuss what to do for dinner. I normally cook but I wasn't feeling well so we decided to grab take out. I order and drive over get the food bring it back and let everyone know that food is there. I get upstairs to my room and start eating. I receive a phone call from my mother, we are in the same house not bothering to walk upstairs and phoning people is just a power play she does. I ignore it, another phone call, ignore this as well. Finally she comes upstairs and makes a passive aggressive "joke" about me not answering the phone.

This dear readers is where I finally snapped. I just unloaded on her. Let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. Let her know in no uncertain terms that she is a covert narcissist and alcoholic. Sat there and pointed out every time she tried to veer the conversation to something else, make and excuse or give a non-apology. She is of course in complete denial but I've decided that every time she indulges in her narc behavior at someone else's expense I'll be calling her out on it from now on.

And that is the end of my rant. Thanks for sticking around if you made it this far. More than anything I wish I could work through my own issues so I could get out of this place.

TLDR: Narc mother had just gotten back from vacation and proceeded to be so terrible so quickly that I snapped.