I would use a throwaway but I figured I didn't care enough.

My aunt had two of my cousins graduate. I was happy for them, despite not really being close after a decade or so of not seeing eachother and a pretty poor bond with them in general.

My aunt, after I went full NC with both sides of my Nfamily and moved out, had checked in every once and awhile to make sure I was still alive, doing well. Offered to do things like do my hair, send me money, give me food if I ever needed it.

I never took her up on the offer even when my hair was REALLY damaged or I was starving and eating nothing but Hi-Chews and water, or when bills were late. Since my gut always told me that it would mean I'd be indebted to her. I kept her at a distance, and whenever she tried to ask where my new job or apartment was I made sure I was always vague. "in the city" or saying a false job, just to be safe.

She had even lurked my social media (technically my estranged families contacted her about it, to try and check in on me since all of them are blocked,) and saw a video I made detailing things I experienced at the hands of my family and she called me up crying, supposedly sympathizing with me and understanding why the bond between me and my estranged family is no longer working out.

Lo and behold, months later its grad season. My aunt asks if I'd be down to attend my cousin's grad party. I hesitate to respond since I didn't want to seem petty like "I don't know, who'd be coming?', since 1) the risk of her lying just to have me show up, 2) the chance of being guilted for stating the boundary. Plus, it'd feel like a dick move you know?

But later on she texts me "(Cousin)'s grad party is this Thursday by the way... im pissed that you wont come", and when I decide to text to ask where it's at, thinking I might be delusional for assuming the worst of my aunt who knows in-depth most of what happened, and maybe I can stop by...

She reveals the grad parties will be at my mother's house. Yknow, the same mother I've made abundantly clear how I have no intention of contacting again, the same mother that tried to hold my own disability checks she hoarded from me over my head if I didn't contact her again? The abusive deranged one?

Her staying in-touch with my mom (her sister) and our family isn't the bad part, not at all! Its inviting me to a party at my abusive Nmom's place and being shocked and pissed that I won't attend and be in the presence of people I was terrified of, or loathed to be around, for years.

Honestly, I was more disappointed than anything. I would've preferred my aunt never bother to pretend to understand after hearing all the graphic details, or get in touch at all. Annoyed that she tried to make me feel bad for not coming, and seeing nothing wrong with inviting me. And of course, nightmares where I envisioned showing up and what would've happened with my family, if I had attended. Being hurt again, guilted, verbally abused, lovebombed, trapped in the house, threatened... After a week or so of nightmares like that, she is blocked, and I feel less bad about it.

Anyone else have moments where you realize a family member is an enabler/just wants to guilt trip you into staying in touch with your NParents or NSiblings? Or tries to set up a meeting? It made me sick or irritated most of last week.