As a child I would occasionally speak out about what was going on with my parents, and every time I would get "well they don't beat you, starve you, or neglect you, so you just need to work it out with them and find a happy medium" by counselors, school faculty, and doctors. Towards the end things did get physically abusive but for the most part it was a high degree of emotional and psychological abuse.

Just to name a few things, I would constantly be used as a pawn for my parent's own purposes, often to get back at each other. I was made to "pick a side" after the divorce (meaning choose which side of the family I will be loyal to and which side I will forsake). I had spyware placed on my phone and anything I said was used against me (this led to me being outed and subsequently told that my mother "would not support me"). I was told I was a liar for telling truths nobody wanted to hear. I had my weight constantly picked apart. Nothing I did was ever good enough and there was always a new thing for my parents to obsess over and condemn me for.

I'm an adult now and I see these awful stories of extreme abuse and I'm starting to question my experiences. Was I just a villainous problem child that deserved the harsh treatment I got? I keep feeling like I'm not allowed to feel violated or hurt, and I'm especially not allowed to exhibit any behaviors that might indicate that I had an abusive past. I haven't "earned" that right.

I feel like I didn't suffer enough, and I can't even put myself in the same category as other people because they had it so much worse. I even had a recent therapist tell me to just "leave it all in the past", as if what happened was last night's takeout. I feel so invalidated. I feel like no one sees me. Does anyone else feel this way?