Long story short, withdrawals are the fucking worst and even worse when they're from prescriptions you've obtained legally and there's just a shortage so fuck you! This made me so dehydrated and malnutrition my body was shutting down. They thought I was having a stroke.

I don't know where else to share this, guys. I mean, I knew my NF was fucking insane and just.. just AWFUL, but after the first time they refused to call 911 and I nearly died, I thought they'd fucking learn their lesson. I thought that Adult Protective Services telling them that they cannot refuse to get me emergency help was enough. I was wrong. Oh, man, was I wrong.

I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm the picture of health. I'm not. I've got a lot of issues, but even for me, waking up and only being able to see light and shadows? Nope. That was a new one for me. I stumbled upstairs sobbing and begging to go to the hospital and I was refused help. They wouldn't even help me put on some socks. I was so cold but apparently sweating like I ran a marathon when I finally got 911 on the phone (on my own btw). The fireman said my mom looked annoyed she was asked for a jacket for me.

I don't know if they want me so disabled that I need to go into a care home or if they just want me to die, but I can't believe I had to scream that me becoming more disabled will not make the living situation better. Probably worse, honestly.

I don't get it?? I mean, okay, they hate me. I get that. They've said that. But, like, there has to be a fucking reason why somebody would literally deny calling 911 during a medical emergency. Is it some fucking power trip? Is it fun watching me sob and cry for my NGrandma or NMom to help me and get to tell me no? Them denying me medical care is not new. I usually had to have the nurse at school force them to take me and one time I ended up with swine flu and despite my fucking lung collapsing, they still didn't think I was sick enough to keep quarantined for a month. But, this shit. This is the second time I was having a sudden onset legitimate medical emergency where They've denied calling 911.

And it just doesn't make sense to me. Like, I CANNOT come up with other reasons than they want me to die and it's a power trip.