So let me state that my Dad has always provided for my family and we have never gone to bed hungry or to school without clothing. My dad has always made about 3/4 of my families income, my mom is a school admin but he’s an mechanical engineer. I know my dad loves as his son but He did it as a responsibility not because he wanted to. So my only sibling is my younger brother and it’s kinda an odd situation, I look EXACTLY like my dad but my Brother has my dad’s exact personality and mannerisms.... it’s been that way for as long as I can remember. There’s only ever been a short time in when my father really paid attention to me and that’s when I was about 7yrs old and first started to play sports. I love sports and tried 110% to be as good as possible but I’m not blessed with any athletic potential. When I first started He showed interest and would work with me on ball skills and understanding the concepts of the game but I never had the athletics to back that up. My brother on the other hand was an animal on every sports team, in his first ever season of wrestling he placed 2nd in states and then won 4 years in a row. While playing football he won league defensive player of the year twice..... I never even started a game. Once my dad saw that my brother was amazing at sports, all of his non working attention went to him. It wasn’t just sports he’d take him on trips with friends, take him to work, take him out to eat, take him to Home Depot etc. I Remember once when I was about 15 I begged my Dad to show me how to weld metal (That was his original trade before engineering) and he never would, when my brother was about 15 he showed him everything he knew. When I turned 16 I was gifted a 18 year old civic, I was very happy to have gotten a car. When my brother turned 16 he got a virtually brand new diesel truck. My Father has always showed my brother in gifts and whatever he’s wanted.

My whole life I’ve been interested in science and I’ve always been top 10% of my class, I love biology and history. It’s really upsetting because when I try to talk to my dad about things I’ve learned he’s famous reply is “I don’t need to clutter my mind with those facts”. When I was 18 I moved out for college and never wanted to return, in an unexpected twist my Dad paid my entire first year of my apartment without telling me... all he said was “Don’t fuck up and make me regret that”. Through all of school/college he never said he was proud of me for being an A student, he only ever said “I expect it from you”.

There have only have been two cases where my Dad and I have had a real heart to heart conversation. The first was when I was about 17 and I had gotten into a bad fight, some random kid at school decided he didn’t like me and one day at the local beach decided he wanted to jump me. I lost my temper and beat him very badly, I still remember that day something inside my head just clicked and I lost control. I broke two knuckles and almost broke that kids orbital socket and elbow, I drive home and called him on the way. I was in a panic when I got home not from pain but because I thought I was going to get in legal trouble. My Dad and I had a real conversation about being a man and not taking shit from no one, he said “he’d take care of any legal problems” luckily nothing ever came and the kid never pressed any charges. The second time I had just turned 23 and I had been dating this girl for about 2 years I truly did love her. We decided to move in together and things got sour. She accused me of cheating and flirting with other girls come to find out she had been cheating on me after we moved in together. I was crushed and had to break my lease and move back to my parents house. One night I got friendly with some Jack Daniels and became uncontrollably emotional it felt like my heart and been ripped out and stepped on. I was alone in my room crying in bed and he came to me, sat on the bed and told me to get dress we were going for a ride. It’s was just to Taco Bell, but it didn’t matter he understood why I was so upset and he said “the pain sucks but you can never drown it like that, she didn’t deserve you”

So yeah that’s the story, I know he loves me but I know I’m not his favorite.