So I am 26m and my sister is 19f. Some quick back story, my parents have been divorced for almost 3 years now. The divorce came after years of tolerating emotional abuse on myself, my mother, and my little sisters part from my narcissistic father. There was also minor physical abuse on my part when I was younger. What finally snapped was my father spiraled into a place where he had made an action against my mother and doubled down on why it was okay that he did it. He made the divorce hell for my mother and since then my sister and I have basically been flip flopping between barely tolerating him and being okay with him.

Part of the divorce was my mom would still get child support from him once my sister was over 18 as long as she was in school. And we could keep the house until my sister was basically done with school.

Last month between school work and the pandemic my sister had a long grueling series of crippling panic attacks. She applied and was granted a medical leave of absence. So she is still technically in school but not going to classes. During this time though she has decided she would instead like to go to cosmetology school instead of the college path she was in. The wording of the divorce does not specify the kind of school she needs to be in for the child support payments to continue.

Well in the last week unprompted my father told my mom that she needed to put my sister on her phone plan, informed her since my sister isn't in school he won't be paying child support. Than the real kicker is today, he somehow got his lawyer to send my mom a letter saying we need to vacate the house and put it up for sale since my sister isn't going to school anymore.

Both she and I are very much hurt by these actions because we very much feel like pawns in some plan of his to continue hurting our mom. Which he has already done in so many ways. It also is a reminder is anything he does for us has strings attached even if we can't see them, and the moment he is unhappy with a choice we are making he will activate those strings. And I'm not looking forward to whatever conversation we're going to have with him because my sister and I are thinking about cutting him off. But we're honestly getting sick of having our relationship with him held hostage by his actions. Because we have both reached a point in our lives where we don't know if he did something because he loves us or becuase he wants to use it as leverage. Like Christmas broke my heart. He spent a ridiculous amount of money supporting a new hobby of mine and got me stuff unrelated to the hobby. And once the moment of excitement from opening gifts faded, I had a moment of, "if I upset him will he turn around the next time we fight to try and justify me forgiving him"

I can say there's only one thing I feel he did truly right while raising us and it will be his downfall. His best wisdom is "at the end of the day, you and your sister are all the other has, your mother and I if the world goes right will die before you guys, and friends will come and go, as will partners. So love eachother and always value your siblinghood." we embraced that and if one of us cuts him off the other goes on principal. Because we'd rather support the other than deal with him.

Thank you all for listening. I don't know if I'll post more. I was just feeling so overwhelmed because this is the last thing I needed to be dealing with right now and wanted to just kind of get it off my chest.