First time posting, I heard about this sub and thought I'd check it out...and by the God-Emperor (if you get that reference gimme a fist bump brother) my own mother is so narcissistic. Currently I'm almost 21 and my mom is the sole reason for my depression and suicidal thoughts, etc. Unfortunately I'm currently forced into living with her due to financial constraints. My parents divorced when I was young, and I never really had any meaningful interactions with my father. To date she hasn't had any boyfriends or anything. Growing up my mother was never really in my life...yeah I lived with her but anytime I was home she was either teaching private music lessons or she was at work at the local symphony. The few times I could really talk to her about me being bullied at school or wanting to talk to her about things I was feeling during puberty she never had time. Whenever I got less than an A she would punish me by taking things away or the like. During puberty she found out that I had been watching p*rn and instead of talking to me about why I was watching it and the like (btw she never told me about the birds and the bees) she decided to take away my computer. Following that, we didn't get internet for the next 3-5 years, can't remember the exact amount. She wouldn't allow me to date until I was 16 (still haven't had any relationships)...and absolutely would not let me explore what sexuality was. The whole reason I was watching stuff online was because i wanted to find out what this "sex" thing was that people were talking about. She absolutely doesn't let me pleasure myself, and lets me have nearly no privacy. The only reason I can write this post is cuz she doesn't know I have a reddit account. I was getting severely bullied in middle and high school, to the point of cutting myself in high school. When she got called in by the school counselor, she declared that the cutting was my own fault and she bore none of the blame. When I turned 19 I tried to kill myself....and when she found out her response was "this cannot happen again". Not something like "what can I do to help" or some motherly thing. As a child she emotionally abused the shit out of me....and honestly idk how I've survived up to this point. (don't have any current plans to attempt). She has no empathy at all, when I described how i was feeling about being single and bulled, her response is "other people are going through the same thing". I was basically raised by Halo: CE for PC, original version, and Starcraft: BW and 2, as well as several cartoons. A part of me just wants to live from my car until I can get a place. She hit me a lot...of course she denied all of it. Denies everything to this day. Not sure what the point of this post is apart from just getting it all out of my system...thanks for reading, if you have. I could go on for quite a while about everything she's done, but i'll stop here.