Therapy is incredible.

My experienced therapist never even once used the word "narcissist" in my sessions that focused on my questions about why I cannot get along with my mother. Therapist quickly seemed to know exactly what my problem was: I wasn't being heard or validated.

Under therapist's recommendation, and still in regular contact with mom at the time, wrote a letter to her "from the heart" about what was bothering me. No response, no validation (SHOCKER), just business as usual comfortable-for-her communication. As I confront her in pain and angry over her about not responding, she name calls me with mental illness and alcoholism accusations (amazing projection of herself).

NC since April. She calls me twice last week (ignored both) once from her cell and once from home, a day apart. I stupidly emailed her this week saying "you called?", and she responds immediately saying "no I didn't call, must have been a pocket dial. Was it my cell?". I can literally see that she called from her home number, there is no chance that was a pocket dial. This is such a sad attempt to get my attention without her needing to take any of accountability. Lying is best for her instead.

I am just posting this because I am experienced in mental health stuff, I work in the field and I'm doing my Masters in psych. I'm shocked at the power of trauma bonding and how naive I still am. I believed briefly that she might have actually called to respond to my letter. It's magical thinking with these people. I have learning to do.