Back in the summer we were driving home from briefly visiting my nparents. He started talking about his family and how's he's grateful that he gets to see them and spend time with them. Note, he has a very close knit family. They talk about their problems, go on vacations, play board games together.

Then he turns the conversation over to me. He started saying "you know your parents love you, you should see them more. You don't know how much time you have left." Little does he know, every time we go to see my nparents together they always put on this "we love you SO much PLEASE never leave!" Act. I know it's all fake and just a show for my partner even after being together for over 5 years.

Anyways, I told him that I don't have any feelings towards my family. I don't love them. They're just people that raised me. I don't feel any connections to them. He continued to talk about "picture perfect" families but I don't think he'll ever understand the experiences and feelings that I have towards them.

I don't think people who have great family relationships understand what it's like to grow up with nparents. I don't even think I know what it's like. I can't put into words what childhood was for me. All I know is that I will never have the cookie cutter family that he has and because of that, there will always be this confusing relationship that he sees me have with my family.