I’ve lurked on this site for quite awhile. Half of the stuff I read I relate to and the other half I don’t. I have to ask because I’m not sure anymore, am I being raised by a narcissist? Let me start this off by saying I love my mom. Here are some basic facts: I live in a well to do area in Cali. I’m 17.
My parents divorced when I was three. My mom is disabled(Lyme disease).

When my parents divorced it broke my mom’s heart. She hasn’t been the same since. Growing up I remember she would cry a lot. She went through a 6 year long custody battle with my father. My mom has always been my biggest supporter. She always tries to do the very best for me despite our limited income. She doesn’t have a job because of the disability and we live off of social security checks and child support that my dad pays. Supposedly my dad doesn’t pay what my mom is owed but he says he is paying it so idk. My mom is very attached to me. Im her closest friend since her family super sucks. I’m starting to apply to college but she wants me to stay close. She uses the excuse that we don’t have money to try and get me to live at home and go to schools nearby. While I’m open to that for my AA degree I don’t think it would be productive. My mom and I are both stubborn. My dad wants me to apply to college in a different state to get away from my mom. Both my therapist and myself think a good distance between my mom and I would be good for my young adult years so I can really focus on me and becoming a productive individual. My mom and I have started fighting a lot bc she says my father is poisoning me and buying my love(something she’s said for my entire life). This hurts me and I’ve told her. She also says that if I go away for college she’ll have to go to soup kitchens, sell my dog, and our house(we got our house through a disabled person lottery). She says that once my dad stops paying child support(when I turn 18) she’ll be homeless. I try and comfort her the best I can, but it’s hard to do that when she insults me and my dad. I know it’s hard for her and I’d do anything I could for her but she says I can’t do anything. One minute she’ll scream at me that I should have a nice life without her in Oregon(one of the places I’m applying to), and then the next she’s crying and apologizing for yelling at me but it’s only bc that when I leave she’ll be homeless and die alone under a bridge. She repeats herself so much. I’ve had one sided conversations with her for 4 hours straight with her telling me the same things about my dad being a horrible person because he left her. My dad tells me he divorced her because he was constantly walking on eggshells. He tried martial counseling with her. And he says that each therapist told him that to preserve himself, he had to leave her. And he says he did that so he could be a good dad to me. And for the most part he is. We haven’t had the best relationships the past but we’re really working on it. I know I might sound ungrateful bc I know my parents try their best and here I am bitching about them to people who have probably suffered way worse. I’m just not sure what to do. I can’t take this anymore.