I think the hard part of getting out of being Controlled by narcissists is the way everything is so covert. The only time they point out toxic behavior is when it interferes with their own, so if you're there only one who sees it, how do you know it's real? And I feel like the passive aggressive is almost worse than actual abuse in later years in some ways, because it's harder to realize, and harder to explain. (I'm not saying any abuse is good, I'm saying it's easier to get help later for physical abuse, because it's generally accepted to be bad. The toxic behavior by narcs tends to get sweet under the rug and ignored. ALL ABUSE IS BAD, I'M JUST VENTING AND RAMBLING, SORRY IF I DON'T EXPLAIN WELL.)"Well, they guilt tripped me a lot" doesn't sound like much when you're trying to explain your unhealthy family life. It sounds like you're trying to get attention or something, and it makes you question, "wait, was there really a problem, or am I too sensitive?" Like, at least actual abuse, you can point to specific times and be like "that's bad." And everyone else agrees, "oh yeah, that's bad, I'm sorry that happened to you." Trying to explain the little slights, and they way you were never important, and the way that "look, I get that's one example, and that that's not that bad, but it was a constant stream of this behavior. That was the norm."and it's even hard for you to recognize the situation because it's not obvious. That's one of the reasons I'm really thankful for the Disney movie Tangled, because I can point at it and be like "you know how Gothel makes those "jokes" about Repunzel's weight, and you can just tell that's normal, and the way her hopes fall momentarily after almost every comment Gothel makes? Yeah, that was my childhood. Except, in real life, you eventually stopping hoping, and just waited for the words that would knock your feet out from under you." And you always have that "it could be worse. Like, yeah, I'm an anxious, depressed mess, but she never beat me, so, it wasn't that bad, right?"

It sucks.