My family is very small (around 12 people total) and not very close with each other. About half of them are in a different country altogether, so I don't talk to them a lot as it is. Both parents are N's and are divorced with tons of spitfire and toxicity between them. Brother isn't an N but is very reserved and keeps to himself. The only strong bond in the family is between NMom and one of her sisters, who is also an N. Their relationship is incredibly heartbreaking and toxic, as NAunt is controlling and manipulative and NMom is self-centered and gives in to everything.

One of the most frustrating things my NMom does is twist every accomplishment and concern I tell her into something about her. For example, every time I express concern that I'm ill, as if by magic, she's also sick and then completely forgets about my illness.

The most recent situation (and what spurred this text) is me telling her I was looking into joining the Peace Corps after graduation. Instead of providing encouragement and asking curious questions, she accused me of only thinking about myself and proceeded to threaten that I would make her depressed again. After that, I talked to a recruiter in secret and was told that I had a very good chance of being chosen. She gave me sound advice on what to keep doing until I apply.

I've been keeping my other NMom's sister (not an N) in the loop throughout this whole process. I can safely say she is the only family member I have really formed an emotional connection with and truly love. I sent her an update on what the recruiter said and she responded with this:

"I think I'm the only one in the family who is ecstatic about your accomplishments. I am so proud of you and love you."

Needless to say, my heart melted and some tears fell :'). I often feel alone in my journey, but then life has its way of reminding you who is really rooting for you.

For all of you out there who love your friends more than your family, who are closer to friends than family... I feel you. I'm with you. I've been in those shoes my entire 19 years. You're not alone, and you're not wrong for feeling that. Love you all.