I had prepared myself for this, but never thought it would actually happen. It's been hours since I've learned of her passing, but I have yet to feel any emotion at all. I thought I would feel some semblance of relief, but I just feel empty. I visited her in the ICU last night, but I did it because of what it meant to my father, not to her. I love my father, but she's still/was a monster of a person and all I can do is be sad for my father because he's lost the woman he was with for 50 years.

I haven't cried, and I might not cry for a while, and, honestly, I'm prepared for the people telling me I'm "hardened" and "tough" or even judging me for not crying when my mother died.

How have you guys coped with losing your N, especially when you have to take care of E?