Okay so buckle up cause I think this will take a while. I have recently found this sub after posting a comment on another one. The OP redirected me here. I've read through quite a lot of the posts so far and man I seem to be able to relate to so many. I'm a 20 years old female, second year at uni and my mom is unemployed. For how many years? Well ever since I was born. This topic was what got me redirected here. My mom has refused to go back to her job since I was born, despite relatives bugging her about it when I was around 4. She even got more job offers(still from relatives) along the years which she'd always postpone or reject. Last year she had the possibility of becoming a babysitter for quite a large sum of money, but somehow she managed to get in an argument with the mother and so her opportunity got taken back. She was so happy about it for a reason?? So all she's been doing for 20 years is to stay at home, cook, clean and watch tv all day. The only friends she has are 2 mothers of my actual irl friends. I was always pressured to do well in school because of her, so I always only studied in order to get high grades so she won't yell at me. Back in grade 1 I'd get beaten for not understanding math, fun times. I'd even lie when I came back home about my grades or other people's grades when someone got a grade higher than mine(she loves comparing me to anyone else and making me feel inferior to them). She'd say my only duty is to learn and that I should be thankful she doesn't make me do chores. Ok so chores. I tried doing them without being asked to(cleaning the bathrooms, dusting etc) and I'd get yelled at for not doing them perfectly "like she does". So I stopped doing them out of my own will. Then I'd do them when asked by her. Same behavior, "How can you be so stupid?! If you can't do something then don't do it at all!!". And as a result, she doesn't ask me for help anymore and complains nobody helps her in the house. You'd ask yourself where my dad is in this situation. Well he's barely around and if he is, he doesn't do much. He works as a casino dealer so his schedule is all over the place so sometimes he sleeps during the day. All I can remember is him telling mom to stop smacking me for not knowing epic math at the age of 8. That prompted her to stop beating me when he was home. I was actively beaten up for math and grades until age 13-14. Here comes the one episode I remember to this day. For the first time ever she'd tell me she was fed up with me, with how I'm the reason why she can't go to work, that I'm unable to do anything on my own(because she just does everything in everyone's stead) and that I'm a failed individual, then proceeded to kick my 13 years old self in the back. Why do I remember that, well I kinda stopped breathing for at least a second. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. She also knows nothing about privacy. She'd use to look at my phone's notifs, so now I set them to never appear on my lockscreen, she'd constantly ask me who am I talking to on the phone, she'd even listen to my calls, from the door. She always stays in the room when I have to get changed which has made me really awkward and embarrassed cause hey no mother keeps seeing their kid's nakedness beyond a certain age during puberty. She even asks to "help me bathe" at times. I also have a curfew for a reason. I always have to go to bed at around 9:30-10 pm cause "what reason would you have to be awake, you'd only use your damn phone longer". My ex used to make fun of this a lot. And the last but not least. I'm a second year uni student at foreign languages, the schedule is horrible and some days I end up spending 12 hours at school. When I'm home I have homework to do or read huge novels for lit class. Well apparently these all count as "doing nothing" to my mom. She claims she's such a busy individual doing things all day while all I do is sit around and do nothing. If she ever sees me playing a game or drawing on my computer in my small spare time, she'll say I wasted an entire day doing nothing. Congrats if you got this far :'') no idea if anyone will take so long to read all that I have written but somehow it feels better after having talked about everything. Would this count as narcissistic behavior in any way or is it something else?