I'm laughing about this now, but last night was pure NMother insanity. My grandma(Mom's mom) stayed with us for a couple of nights, which of course makes my NMother extra uptight because she wants to paint a perfect picture of her life to impress her mother(who might be a narc herself, not really sure). Anyway, story time!

I work long hours on the night shift, so I usually wake up late in the day. This means my midnight snack is literally my lunch/dinner time. Sometimes, my parents will save leftovers that are up for grabs for anyone to eat. Last night was BLT's with stuff from our garden, and around 11pm I got the urge for one, so I went into the kitchen to assemble a quick bite. The kitchen is adjacent to the living room where my grandma was sleeping, so I turned on a dim light and was being quiet as a mouse...UNTIL

NMother(who had had a few whiskey drinks) storms in and starts shouting. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? TURN THE LIGHT OFF! MY MOM IS TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"I'm just making a sandwich with some leftovers, I'll only be a minute."

"I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE GONNA WAKE HER UP!" She then proceeds to turn off the light I was using and rummage around for a second to find another(brighter) light to turn on.

"Mother, stop yelling. I'm being quiet and calm, you're yelling and that's going to wake her up."

"NO, I DON'T CARE, THIS IS MY HOUSE, MY RULES! DON'T TELL ME TO BE CALM!" At this point, I'm trying to ignore her and slicing up a tomato, which really sets her off. "WHY CAN'T YOU EAT ON A NORMAL SCHEDULE? WE MADE DINNER AT 5PM AND ALL YOU DO IS LAY YOUR ASS IN BED ALL DAY!"

"Mother, you know I work long hours at night. Please stop yelling."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP YOUR GRANDMA!"

"Your yelling is gonna wake her up, not me."

"I'M CALLING THE COPS AND YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY, ALSO, I'M GETTING YOUR DAD!" This is where she storms out and slams the door into her bedroom, waking my father up to "tattle" on me. He comes into the kitchen, asks what's wrong, and I tell him I'm just trying to make a sandwich. My mother is continuing to yell, accuses me of being drunk(I'm not, but she is), and starts beating her hand on my father's chest.

"YOU DON'T DESERVE THE FATHER YOU HAVE!"

"Well, he deserves a wife better than you." Sometimes I get brave and talk back, which you all know N's totally love.

"YOU'RE A LITTLE BRAT AND A SPOILED BITCH AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN!"

"That's not the way you should talk to your own daughter, that's very abusive, Mom."

"IM NOT ABUSIVE, YOU DON'T KNOW ABUSE!" This is where my father tells her to be quiet and go to bed, to which she shouts, "SHUT UP, (DAD'S NAME) I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" He finally gets her in the bedroom to calm her down and at that point I had given up on my sandwich and didn't even wanna go back into the kitchen so I just went to bed hungry. N's gonna n.