Im in a bad positon, later today I have to go head to head with my N-Gma and it might cost me my job.

Here is a shortened version of whats happened so far.

N-gma owns a family business, offers my cousin and I positions/ future ownership of company.
Proceeds to pay me less than my male cousin
proceeds to make my life hell with daily office tasks. For example she tells me to scheduled people one way and then complain that I messed it up and demand I fix it. 7 times. Mind you she never taught me how to do it the way she wanted. The final scheduled was so bad people kept complaining to me like I had the power to fix it.
N-gma is known to hold grudges. One time on a family vacation she didnt talk to me for two days because I thought a “fact” she stated was wrong. It was a big family vacation but instead of hanging out with the other family members she followed me sightseeing and pointedly ignored me. It only stopped when her basement flooded and her neighbor called to tell her.
N-gma wants to retire and had to be hospitalized due to stress related issues

The biog issue is N-gm got mad at one employee. This lady is a manager and has worked for n-gma for years. We are a tax company and need to go to seminars to keep up with tax law changes. N-gma decides that the company wont pay for seminars this year, so the employee decides to skip the $200 seminar my grandma wanted to go to and go to a free much shorter seminar that only covers our states changes.

We do in house classes every year because not everyone can go to the seminars so I think the employee, who is not well off, made a good choice. The issue is she forgot to tell my grandma outright that she was going. N-gma felt snubbed and hatched a revenge plan. She would “invite” a bunch of us to go and surprise the employee.

The employee was upset we we arrived as she had invited my n-gma the week before the event. She offered to reserve her spot as well, since n-gma is bad with computers. N-gma acted like she didnt want to go and had no plans to go. When she saw us she was hurt, and avoided talking to n-gma.

Now n-gma is all fired up about how she needs to fire the employee before she steals our clients. Im astounded that n-gma got the revenge she wanted and is apparently upset by it. She tells me she spent the whole night throwing up because of the stress. N-gma also decided that she wants us to fire the employee or she wouldnt be back.

Given a real option i would choose the employee over N-gma. But im pretty sure that if we actually tried to not choose N-gma she would fire us as well. she doesnt want to seem the bad guy and just fire the employee she wants us to do it.

My cousin and i have a meeting set later today to talk to her about the whole thing. Im pretty nervous about this, ive always kept my head down and tried to not anger her but i feel that if i cave on this i'll never have real control of the business. And the to lose such an important employee right before the season will put more stress and pressure on me.

Im pretty non confrontational by nature, so support and advice would be awesome. thank you for taking the time to read this, and sorry if i rambled.