...And then she opens her mouth and reaffirms it for me.

So I moved 1,200 miles away from my family last Christmas to be with my, at the time, long-distance BF. My mother tried several times to undermine our relationship and keep me from moving. Needless to say, she's been relegated to VLC ever since I got out here.

Nmom called me the other day, and I only answered because my grandmother's memorial is coming up and I figured the call was about logistics regarding that (the memorial is in Nmom and gran's home town that I don't know how to navigate). We went over some details such as times and locations and then I was ready to end the call, but Nmom decided she must fill me in on family happenings.

A little background here. I don't know how, but somehow, my mother has the whole fucking family fooled into thinking she's this great, wise woman. Not one of them acknowledges the abuse/neglect I was subjected to, like the time my mother straight up forgot about me and left me at school until almost 11pm when I was 12 and the principal threatened to call child services or the multiple times she kicked me out of the house for "disrespecting" her. Even my younger sister has starting talking like I brought all of it upon myself for being so "difficult" and "rebellious" all the time. Anyway, my mother has herself set up as some sort of matriarch in the family. Seriously, it's almost cultish the way everyone else seems to adore her.

Of course, as the matriarch, all information must pass through her, and it is her job to make sure everyone is on the same page. So she tells me about my niece's recent engagement. That's good. I'm happy for her (like any not heartless person would be for a newly engaged young woman) but I'm not close to her, can count on one hand how many times I've seen her or talked to her in my life, and don't really care all that much. Apparently, she and her fiancé are planning the wedding for Oct/Nov 2017. Again, that's nice, I hope she has her dream day, but I don't expect an invite and don't really care either way.

Oh, and Nmom and step-dad are gonna renew their vows in July 2017. Ok cool. You've been talking about renewing your vows for the last 13 years, so I'm not really holding my breath, but j can see where this information in more pertinent to me, as I would actually be expected to be there.

Then she drops this bomb on me. "So if you and [BF] are planning to get married, you need to wait till after 2017."

I don't know about any of you, but this really struck a nerve with me and the longer I've thought about it, the more angry I've gotten.

1) BF has not actually proposed to me and therefore, I'm not planning a wedding.

2) You get one day. Not a month; not a year. And you definitely do not get the right to tell me that I have no choice but to wait at least two and a half years to get married.

3) I notice that making me wait till 2018 only keeps me away from your date, not niece's. Yet your reasoning for trying to block that entire year is that there are two "weddings" already.

4) This one she doesn't know, but BF and I, for the past couple months, have been tentatively talking about getting married in January on 2017 because our three year anniversary falls on a weekend that year and we both like the idea keeping the same date. It would be several years before this is possible again, so even though we haven't nailed down the decision ourselves, I really don't appreciate someone trying to step in and tell no.

Yes, I'm aware that this probably isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. Yes, I'm probably misdirecting some anger here. But holy hell, the arrogance in the one statement.... Guys... I can't....