NOPE. NOPE. ALL THE NOPES.

No. I am not going to do what you want. I am not going to spend hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket just so I come up for a weekend to help you clean out the house or do things for you. I do not have that kind of money to spend, as I work a crappy retail job while I find something else, and I can't just get up and decide on a short notice to get on a plane when I would have to abide by your rules for use of the car and I would have to stay with you.

You also said that my boyfriend, my rock and savior in this whole mess, can't come, as you don't like him. HA! Like I'd come up if he can't be with me. He's the only reason I didn't get physically hurt by you the week I was there to bury my nmom! And can we forget how you were drugged out the whole time and tried to manipulate me into giving back a family heirloom that my Naunt wanted badly, but I took instead? I'm protecting some assets of the estate because you pawned off her silver, her engagement ring and her expensive knick knacks! You would have pawned off the heirloom! And don't say I'm a liar. I got a call from the police department, letting me know what was going on.

Honestly, you'd be better off worrying about making sure the house doesn't go into foreclosure instead of worrying about her precious headstone. But hey, maybe you can use the money you got from pawning things to pay for it. Except, you think it's not faaaiiirrrrrr if I don't pay half!

Oh, you're going to get me thrown in jail over $41k in student loans my mother took out for me willingly so she could have SOMETHING to talk about with her flying monkeys about me if I don't help you? I was the one who stayed out of trouble and got her bachelor's degree, while you dropped out of college three times? Hey, she had every chance to say "no," but she wanted me to go away to college so she could brag about how her SG daughter was soooo independent and self-sufficient! Trust me, I got proof she knew about the loans and abused them and me to get so much money out of me. I'm not afraid of your threats.

Well guess what? If you want me to help, I want half the $32k. I want it upfront, in writing and notarized. If you don't let me have it, then I'm not doing shit. You're 30 years old. You can do things for yourself and you can use that money to pay for a brand new headstone! I mean, you're the one who's going to blow through it and have a tax mess on your hands next year, sooooo.....

In short, you can go screw yourself. I'm not doing shit for you.