[Trigger warning: Suicide, abuse, violence, strong language]

On top of ignoring me, being passive-aggressive, complaining about how people have wronged you in the past, blah blah blah.

But man, it must have been nice to slander me on social media and make me look like an asshole because I had the audacity to complain about my car not passing the emissions test. The car you oh so generously gave me with so many conditions, like putting up with your narcissistic shit and giving me major guilt trips for not helping you out enough.

Bitch, I lived through that shit and I could see it coming. Both my mom and brother are narcissists and I had to survive being the scapegoat for their abuse. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but you proved to me quite quickly how much of a narcissist you are. I didn't know I could put a diagnosis on you until I read up on narcissism. You fit it to a T, much like my other family members.

So this rant is everything I wanted to tell you as you maligned me and ruined my social network on the blog website, the network that helped me get through the abuse and helped me with finding a new place to live. And yes, that was with you. You reached out to me back in 2013, offering me a place to stay. I was suffering so much abuse that I was contemplating suicide. You told me, "come down and live with us while you get back on your feet." I took it. It was what saved me. And for that, I can't thank you enough for that. But just because you gave me a way out gave you the right to treat me the way you did for that year.

After that post, I left quietly after you got everyone sending me death threats and calling me names. But you know what? You only did that because I cut you off. And you found a post I made several weeks back after I moved out about the car so you could get your revenge on me not honoring the manipulation you ensued on me. Even though you were never explicitly mentioned, you used that as your way to get back at me for cutting you out, after what you thought was the most perfect hospitality you could give. It was anything but. It was exactly like living with my Nfamily, except without the physical abuse.

I'm not saying that I wasn't ever shitty in this situation. We're only human. But when you have a history or pattern of being shitty, that's when it's a problem. Everyone can be shitty and the environment brought the worst in me at times.

So if you're the narc I'm talking about who's reading this, I hope you go cry about it on your blog and die in a fire, you stupid bitch ^_. And if you or anyone else tries to post my name or any other information about me anywhere, there will be a lawsuit waiting. So tread carefully.

If you're one of her flying monkeys, I hope you die in a fire, too.

To anyone else, please enjoy the following beatdown. I'm done with letting her rule my life months later after NC.

I'm finally speaking out.

So...me cutting you off was the straw that broke the camel's back? I thought we had a better friendship than that. Too bad you have your head shoved up your ass so far you can see your small intestines. I hope you have diarrhea and you choke on it.

You said that I was maligning you on my blog and that I refused to talk to you about problems I had with you? Bitch, I kept most of that bitching within a small group of people I trusted. And even if I had an issue with you, I would try to talk to you about it, but you would never want to hear it and would run into your room and slam the door in my face. But then you'd turn around and ask me, "why doesn't anybody tell me if they have a problem with me?" Uhhh, because you don't fucking listen and you just cry and give shitty apologies for your shitty behavior and it would never stick. You'd also use the "my memory's terrible" excuse. Bullshit. You're just too strung out on pain pills for your pain disorder. I'm not saying it's fake, but come on, you would take too many of your pain pills AND YOU WOULD FUCKING ASK ME FOR MY XANAX. And when I would say, "No," you'd get passive aggressive and ignore me for WEEKS. All because you didn't get what you wanted.

I'm no longer welcome in your home? That's such a loss for me! Let me go cry about it.

Okay, I'm done.

But I'm not allowed in your friends' homes? Who are you, my mother? I will spend time with whoever I fucking want, thank you very much. I am a goddamn adult! You do not dictate what I do in my spare time. And besides, it's not like you have many friends anyway, except for the dumb idiots on your blog who feed into your self-pitying shit and catty, immature behavior. Everyone who knows you in real life thinks you're a horrible person and only put up with you because of your husband, who's an enabler. Also, those two best friends you say would refuse to come over if I was there, are assholes who cyberbullied me into near suicide a few years ago. I should have known and I am glad I never saw them. I'd probably punch them. They can also go die in a fire.

Yes, I do thank you for providing me with a room with a bed and other amenities. But really, you're using them as an excuse to say, "HEY LOOK, I GAVE YOU THINGS. YOU MUST DO WHAT I SAY NOW!" Nope. You were glad to give up those things because it was less shit for you to take when you moved to your new apartment in the city and so you could go buy more things for yourself by using your husband's money. (BTW, how's getting on Disability going? I'm sure they turned you away because you're in your 30s and you abuse prescription pain killers) But yes, I am enjoying the free furniture, thank you. That doesn't excuse how you treated me like an asshole. As for the car, it's a piece of shit, but it gets me from point A to point B. So no complaints now that I have a way of getting around the emissions test, which a wonderful friend showed me how to do. Also, if you think that car is worth $1500-$2k, you're psychotic and you don't know anything about car pricing.

Oh, and about that thing where you think I was asking your husband for more money? I wasn't doing that shit. I was asking him for advice on what to do about it not passing the emissions test, you pretentious dumb fuck. But hey, you wouldn't want someone else taking more of your husband's money away from you, right? That might be the reason why you got so sick of me living there rent free. But that's because the office could not know I was living there, or you'd be evicted. Maybe you should have thought about that before taking me in. And honestly, I would have paid rent if you wanted me to, and I have told you so. But nope, you insisted that I didn't have to. And now you use that against me like I chose not to pay rent.

Oh yeah, and thank you for bringing me to those concerts and to the big huge convention, where I was treated like scum under your shoe and you did nothing but complain about how I wasn't enjoying myself enough. This was after trying to push your overweight body in a shitty wheelchair up and down steep hills in the middle of summer in the South while you complained about how rough the ride was. I got sick of it and I told you I wasn't going to push you around at the convention anymore because I was physically exhausted. So I asked you to get a motorized scooter to use, as it would be easier for the both of us. You did that, but when we were at the convention, you only wanted to do what YOU wanted. I wasn't allowed to go do my own thing without a massive guilt trip on your part. "Oh, don't worry about poor me. I'll be just fine sitting right here with nothing to doooo." Add to that the passive aggressive speeding forward from me, almost running over people with your scooter and yelling at them for being in your way and just acting like an asshole when you had to wait in line in the disabled entrance. Gee, I guess I can see why the other people that went with you ditched your fat ass a few years prior.

So I got sick of your shit and the next day, I went by myself and I found a nice group of people to hang out with for the rest of the convention. I told you I could do another day, but the other two days, I wanted to do by myself. You know, just general boundary setting. You did not take it well. You acted like you were okay, but you were silently hating me. So the final day of the convention, when you were with me and one of your husband's friends, you acted like a self-entitled douchcanoe and you yelled at me for being a shitty friend who didn't give a shit about your needs and how you were disabled and blah. I walked the other way because 1) I did not want to go to jail for punching you in the face and 2) it was the more mature thing to do. But even then, I felt so much guilt for turning my back. Even with all the shit you did to me, I wanted your approval. I wanted you to like me and respect me. It was futile. You made me feel horrible the rest of that day. And when we got back, you gave me the silent treatment for almost a month. You only came out of it when you wanted me to get you a gift for your birthday.

So you consistently mention the car in your post. I remember when you gave me the car. You said it was for me to use and to help you and your husband out. I was perfectly willing to help out whenever I could. And I did and tried my best. I went grocery shopping regularly, I helped clean the kitchen and house plenty of times (though I didn't do it often enough because my job was demanding and left me tired at the end of the day), I drove you to appointments (but you would be a general asswipe when I would drive. You would always criticize my driving and wouldn't let me listen to what I wanted to on the radio. Sorry, but whoever is driving gets to pick), I picked up your medication, I brought you to stores to buy stuff (but you've always had a tendency to ask me to take you to Target 5 minutes before I had to leave for my job and you'd throw a hissy fit when I said, "no") and I went out to places with you, only to have you tell me to shut the fuck up when I was trying to calm you down when you dropped your Xanax on the ground.

I was also your free fucking therapist. I would have to listen to you complain and cry about how your mother fucked you up and didn't love you enough. Yeah, you're mom's a narcissist, I agree. But really, you got yourself covered in FLEAS of your mother's mental illness, if you're not outright your mother. Take some fucking responsibility for yourself. You always had bad things to say about your husband's friends and how they wronged you at your wedding. Your family would never let you have alone time with your daughters (probably for good reason. I hope they never talk to you again. They're better off without you, to be quite honest). You would lament at how your 'friends' would never call you or spend time with you (I wonder why...). You always had these dramatic, exaggerated stories about your shitty roommates (trust me, sweetie, you're the problem, not them), but in the same breath of your never-ending spiels, you would make yourself to be self-important and talk about how AWESOME you were at your jobs dealing with rich people and C-level executives. Like, I was supposed to be in fucking AWE that you worked with C-level executives. I don't give a shit. Also, you're a classist piece of shit because you not only looked down on my job as a cashier as beneath you, you'd treat retail workers like garbage. You offended one of my coworkers by calling her a "cheap Indian." Classist AND racist! What a combination!

Oh, and who can forget all the bitching and complaining about all your health issues? It's like a narc's dream come true, because now you can use your health issues as an excuse to act like an asshole. And by golly, you got your money's worth! You'd always want people to feel sorry for you for having to spend time in a wheelchair and you always talked about your dramatic health stories. My god, it drove me crazy. You were so put upon and you needed people to feel sorry for you since so many doctors refused to give you pain help when you made things up to go to the ER.

You know, I also love it when you claimed that you introduced me to your friends (none of them were yours; they were your husband's friends) and you said that you had to apologize to them for my behavior. Classic narc tactic. You vaguely state that I did something wrong and wouldn't clarify. I would ask you constantly if I did something wrong and you would reassure me that everything was fine. My mom did that shit to me. She would say that people didn't like me because of something I did, but would never be honest enough to tell me what I did, so I would know what to watch out for and change that behavior. If you gave a shit, you'd be honest. But nope, let's just go for the vague reference!

Yeah, you took me places, did a thing for my birthday and gave me Christmas presents. I did the same for you, your family, your daughters and your husband. I got them all something because I wanted to do something nice for them. I'm generous to a fault. Yet I felt so deflated and upset when you were nonchalant about the gifts I got you (which was $100 in gift cards to your favorite restaurant and favorite makeup store, makeup, and other things). I got some nice gifts from you guys, but really, you didn't force your family to buy them gifts for me. They did it on their own free will.

And let's go over the lies you told about how I acted towards you and how you think I repaid your generosity:

~ Claim I threw a screaming fit when you didn't have basic cable. I wanted to watch a sports event on TV, but couldn't. I was bummed, as you told me you had a ton of channels on your TV, so I just used my mom's Xfinity account to watch it online instead. No biggie.

~ Said I only did my share of things once and never did them again. Bullshit. I did a lot of it when you were knocked out on pain pills and you couldn't remember shit. And you had a tendency to make huge messes in the kitchen when you were drugged out. I would clean them up, but even then, I got sick of it after a while.

~ Yelled at you when I couldn't go on vacation with you and your husband. I remember it quite differently. I was offered a chance to go with you two to Disney World and on a cruise, but I turned it down because I couldn't afford it. And yet you think that it's yelling by saying "no." Bull-fucking-shit.

~ Says I spent most of my money on booze and partying. Nope. I spent most of it improving my wardrobe so I could have something nice to wear to interviews I didn't get because the job market was shit when I moved there. Also, you were jealous that I somehow managed to make friends not related to you at all and you always wanted to spend time with my friends when I brought them over. They thought you were self-absorbed and obnoxious and didn't want you as their friend. Yes, my friends like to drink and have parties. I should be allowed to have some fucking friends that I can do fun things with and not have it used against me in your smear campaign. Fuck off.

~ Gave me shit for having a job as a cashier. Hey. You know what I just got out of? An abusive situation. I was broken into pieces and I had to rebuild myself. That meant I had to start out at the bottom in a new place and gain more confidence in my abilities. It was what I needed to get into a better place emotionally and mentally. But no. I had to have a much better job or you would give me shit for it. Every single day, I would tell you about the stressful day and you would tell me, "quit your job and find something else." You wouldn't let me just vent about it. You would make it about what YOU wanted for ME and you used that as a segway to talk about how AWESOME you were at your jobs. You didn't care about my emotional well-being or my personal growth. You knew damn well that I would need time to rebuild myself after all I'd been through, but no. I wasn't moving up fast enough for your liking. Yeah, I know I needed to get a better job, but really, I would have appreciated better communication from the start so I would adjust my expectations. Honestly, if your husband didn't have to move for his job, I'd probably still be at the apartment, because you wanted me there to be your therapist. But you wanted me to have more money so I could spend it myself so your husband would have more money to spend on your lazy ass. If anybody's the entitled leech, it's you.

Also, you didn't help me with shit when it came to jobs. All you told me was employers wanted a Joan from Mad Men and that I can't wear red nail polish to interviews, as they would see me as slutty. Very helpful stuff right there.

It's also quite funny that now you're saying that you're not a saint, but I love how you say that I'm no angel, either and that I didn't try like you did. I'm sorry, who's the 35 year old who's acting like a petty, immature child? Fuck, I'm younger than you and I act more mature and I don't pull petty shit like that. Why don't you grow the fuck up and own up to your actions instead of fake apologizing and doing the same shit over and over again? Also, you tried your best to manipulate me into staying in an abusive friendship with you. I wasn't having it. I already had enough abusers in my life, I didn't need another one. But I will tell you that I did try my best to make you happy. But nothing was ever good enough unless I gave in to all your demands. And even then I doubt you'd be content.

And how self-righteous of you to say that because of this experience, you'll have to tell the next abused person that no, you can't help them because of what I did. What a load of shit. You're living in a high-rise apartment in the middle of a major city in a 2 bedroom place. You don't have the room to take someone else in. Also, I'm glad nobody else has to be subjected to your narcissism and abuse anymore.

Oh boy, you saved the best for last, huh?

I paraphrase: "I can see why none of your friends back at home would even offer you a place to stay for the night."

Hold the fuck up, asshole. Did you really just blame my abuse for why I had no friends who could help me?

You know what narcissists and abusers do to their victims? THEY ISOLATE THEM. They don't let them have friends or family to turn to for support. Because they know that outside influences will give them power.

Guess what I didn't have? FRIENDS. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. FRIENDS.

My mother and brother had me in the palm of their hands. They tore me down to a shell that had no inner life. I had no interests, no feelings, no passions, nothing. I went through the motions to just survive another day of their abuse and drama. And if I ever had a blossoming friendship or relationship, they would shut that shit down so fast. I would be forced to come home early from work to deal with my brother abusing my mom for drug money. I wouldn't be allowed to go out on school nights and I would have to be home by 9 pm on the weekends. I couldn't bring friends over because my mom would tell them how much of a shitty person I was and that they shouldn't be friends with me. It was easy to see why I didn't have friends.

So for you, someone who had the same kind of upbringing with a Nmom, to turn that on me and use that to describe my character, when it was calculated by my abusers? You have reached the lowest of the low. Rock fucking bottom. You are goddamn scum.

It took me going away to college (which was a miracle in itself, but she wanted to keep up with the Joneses, that's why she let me go) and getting therapy and a couple nice people for me to wake up and gain my inner fire back. I stood up to my family when I came back from school. They didn't like what I became. So the abuse got worse. And worse. And worse.

But this time, I was going to get out. Either by someone offering me a place to live, as I was never allowed to save money as it would be taken by my brother for drugs or by my mom, or by taking my own life. Thankfully I am still here and I am no longer suicidal. But man, you knew what I went through. You knew the pain I felt, the abuse I endured. And you still had the nerve to use that against me.

I hope someday you end up alone, with nobody around to give a shit about you. You are just someone who cares about herself and how you look to others. Just like my mom. You ripped me apart when you wrote that tirade. I knew I had to cut you out, because I was so bitter and angry about how things turned out. But they were for the better, at least for me. I have a wonderful boyfriend, friends who like spending time with me, a brighter future, more confidence, and far more happiness than when I was with you.

Go die in a fire and I hope you rot in hell. And I hope nobody else has to deal with you and your abuse again.

Good riddance, bitch.