So I just need to vent and maybe a little advice. I found out yesterday that my brother (K)(14, soon to be 15) has been cutting himself. He lives with my NGrandma(GJ), NGrandpa (NG) and the younger of my two sister (Z)(13). I am fairly certain that (Z) is the golden child and (K) is the scapegoat. Our mother died when a little over three years ago. My mom had Borderline Personality Disorder but was diagnosed and working through the issues by the time she was raising K and Z. L and I had to deal with crazy mom.

Even so I love and miss her. My other sister (L) and I chose not to sue for custody because neither of us were financially secure and neither of us were prepared to raise two preteens. Prior to our mother's death, we were trying to go NC with those two. I believe my bother has ADHD but he has not been fully diagnosed because my Ngrandparents pulled him from his physiatrist. The reason was because GJ thought the physicist. was too sympathetic to my mom and she felt that he didn't like her. Either way my brother can be hard to handle and is very excitable and very loud. He also has trouble following directions and staying on task. Recently he has become more outspoken and refuses to admit when he has messed or made a mistake (i.e. being a teen).

I'm sure all of this makes it harder for my grandparents aged 65 and 75 respectively. On the other hand, they are never consistent with punishments; they have grounded him for a year from things he likes and kept him from it for the full year but they have also ground him for a week and let him have/do/use whatever it was the next day. They also ignore him when he misbehaves until whatever he doing makes them so angry that they explode at him. NG also constantly belittles K and says things like, "I don't know why you try to talk to him, he never listens." or "He doesn't care." or "If it weren't for your grandma, you would be on the street." He has also strongly hinted that K may be gay or isn't a boy/man. I don't know everything that goes on in the house but based on my experiences with them it isn't great.

My grandparents have talked about sending K to Boystown for his "issues." I am all for this as they will know how to help him and I may even get to see him more often than now. My grandparents often hold visiting or having K and Z over mine and L's heads. Or change plans on us suddenly. The information I have found on cutting makes it sound scary and very hard to cure.

So far K is in counseling at his school for the cutting and regular concealing the school provides for any kids who want go (Z also goes to this). My grandma has found him a new physicist. but he has yet to attend. And he will only be able to go twice a month due to costs. Tonight L and I are going to my grandparents to talk about K. And see if we can get any more information from grandparents. They will inevitably ask for information and advice that they will than not listen to. But on the off chance they do listen what do I need to know.

Edit: formatting