Hi guys. I've looked through this subreddit before, but I don't really qualify as having narcissistic parents, although my mother and wife's father do have elements of it. My mother screams a lot, plays the victim a lot, misremembers conversations and events all the time, and in general guilt trips like it's her job. My father-in-law often makes family member events about himself, flies into sulks at the slightest offense, and puts his welfare before his loved ones'.

I say all this because over time, they have improved. For whatever reason, age has mellowed them out, or the fact that my wife and I moved out of their houses (before we met) years ago, and their respective methods of control were disrupted. They now act far more cordial than they used to, because they know that their old behaviors push us further away. I think they may have actually gone through periods of self-reflection, which is huge.

I know for the people who have extremely narcissistic family members, this most likely won't stop the toxic behaviors, and they will just find other ways to fuck with you, but I just want to offer hope to all of you that there's a chance it can get better. Just try to be realistic about the chances, and know that if things change, it will take years, even decades. Just remember that you are the most important person in your life, not someone else. Take care of your needs.

Hope this makes some sense. I'm sort of rambling.