When I was younger, I had aspirations of being a writer/director and longed to go to film school. I was/am a pretty good writer, but my abusive parents were unsupportive of pretty much anything I tried to do, no matter what it was.

They were extremely abusive (in every way you can think of) and bullying - and I didn't realize how much so until I went no contact two years ago. I have to remind myself constantly that I am safe and they can no longer hurt me. My Momster dying recently helped with that tremendously, but I still feel like I'm fighting against so much of the abusive treatment I received for the first 37 years of my life.

Sometimes I feel like I was raised first by my Teddy Ruxpin (an electronic teddy bear that would read you audio stories) and then later by the computer, as these were the only places I felt safe. In a way, this still holds true because I still feel most at home online, listening to audiobooks, and writing stories. But the damage done by abuse and neglect kinda wreaked havoc on my life in a way I'm still trying to rebuild.

I recently launched a Bedtime Story podcast called Dreamland Believer, which is mostly focused on guided imagery meditations meant to give people little gentle mental vacations. Think walking through a forest, or along the beach, or in a wildflower meadow. I'm really, really proud of myself for trying this, and also of the work I'm doing in creating it.

Maybe, if you need something positive and gentle to listen to today, or over the holiday season, you'll give my little podcast a listen to. And I hope it helps you, the way that it's helped me to start creating it.

Guided Imagery Meditation - The Shining

...so yeah, anyway, fuck you, Mom. I am special. Everyone is special.