That's sarcasm, of course.

Due to my circumstances, I can't drive. I'm stuck in my apartment all day except for when my mother takes me out, usually to her house. I'm mega freakin' depressed, and my past circumstances really, really do contribute to that.

I try to get by on hobbies and each time, I get so overstimulated that I throw everything away. I lack a balance in my life. How many times have my friends seen me buy things, sell those things, buy those things again, undo things, redo things, take things apart, and put things together again? I'm sincerely tryin' not to freak out each day! So, what do people who I meet get? They get trauma dumps.

I tried dating Reddit. It destroyed my mental health, so I went to this "neurodivergent" dating app called Hiki. It gave me a lot of room to be honest. I met someone close by through it. We were talking. We talked on the phone for 38 minutes on Sunday. I don't see our chat on that app anymore, and she hasn't been responded all day. She's blocked me.

I put on some act that people call me "a psychopath" and "a sociopath" over. Of course, my mother has to coddle, repeatedly asking in such a voice "what got me feeling this way" when she sees me feeling down today. The truth is that my act is a reaction to the world being scary....and to me just feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances. The New Jersey government wants papers from the special needs trust "with nothing in it" and on my income. This is disgusting.

My life has been stolen. I should've worked out a transfer to California or Arizona for Fall 2017 after I escaped my parents' house to that university in New Jersey in January of 2017. Blah blah COVID. Blah blah not having anything in place for post-graduation. I know. You think I did THAT much research into the immigration laws of Canada and Australia out of being a Canadaphile, or an Australophile? No, it wasn't that! Because romanticists are not serious about such things!

Do you know what it is for someone from law enforcement to tell you, "From reading your messages, it seems to me that your parents tried to prevent you from doing things!", and, "When most people can't go to college, it's because they have bad grades, but that wasn't your problem!", AFTER you've been read your Miranda rights? That happened after my time at that university fell apart.

I just spent a weekend at my brother's house in Maryland for my niece's birthday. Of course, I bought too much on plans and I was unable to manage it all, so I sold this modern sound card for old computers that will no longer be produced. I was feeling super disenchanted with hobbies, though. It was right when I sold that sound card that I met this individual who certainly blocked me today.

I know how I feel when I'm with friends, so.... why not try to find "a special friend," you know? Heck, if I hadn't been talking to this individual, then I would've sold this giant and heavy USB flight simulator controller, and I would've certainly bought it again when I felt I would've needed it again. My mother would've had to ship the item, too, and I just don't want that tension between her and me. Shipping items to sell exhausts my mother so, so much. You might wonder why I can't ship those items. Well, my mother can drive to the post office.