Trigger warning: Physical violence

I didn't want to ever post here again, but.... I've started to attempt dating, so I won't delete this account or posts here.

I really didn't like what my mother said at a store yesterday. I told my mother this morning that I thought that her fawning over the father in the store with a "disabled son" yesterday was super weird. My mother told me that I misinterpreted it, and that "you can't leave a guy like that alone." You think I haven't heard, for goddamn ages, just how "disabled" people have been? My mother then went telling me, "He told me about his son!" That's not it! When someone like that calls the shots in my life, it's really frustrating!

Yes, there was "an adult in a stroller" or something in Trader Joe's once and my mother left completely fawning over that family. Given how much I was struggling then, which was around 2014, I was really not feelin' that.

Yes, my father would do the same. Commenting on just how "disabled" people have been. There was that one day when my father told me, "You're REALLY AN ASPERGER!" or something, and my brother ran downstairs to hit my father's face.

When I told my mother about this today, she thought I was playing a moral game. She called me "the word police." No! It's very weird....and she's too involved in my life.

My mother just called me to lie her way through "wanting to make peace." Oh, she wants peace. I don't doubt that. But she ended the phone call muttering angrily to herself. I didn't want to pick up, but throughout my life, I've often dealt with times when dealing with my parents was easier than not dealing with them. It's messed up. Like when I was harassed for hours to go to some birthday party and I refused, and then, I got it later on. When I was five, I refused to play soccer once, and my parents tried pressuring me the entire meet to "join in." Same with when I was 24, and I felt too sick to go to my community college, so my mother tried pressuring me on and on and on and on, and she returned from work that day to hit me.

And yes, my mother is "calling the shots." Where does she think that she's not? Oh, right... I'm destined to be on benefits for the rest of my life. After all, I should be good in Bergen County for the rest of my life to not attend jury duty...and that's supposed to be influential, somehow.

Edit: I hope I didn't cross any lines with anyone with this post. I tried to be mindful composing this post. Everything always has to be defined by so many people. There were people at that special needs school that I attended from 2000 to 2004 who were "high-functioning autistic," and I was "Asperger's." I also "was the only student who truly graduated" my year, according to my father, because I went to the district high school after my time at that special needs school. I feel very grateful that I attended the district high school, but it was only because the district wouldn't pay for another school like the special needs school for me. Unlike most people, I don't have to define everything into neat little categories. I define! It's human to define! To define EVERYTHING is just so exhausting for me, though.