I’m watching the Olympics right now and it’s making me emotional how so many of those athletes families have supported their kids goals by getting them sports equipments, helping the kids move abroad to further their athletic careers, getting second jobs to financially support their kids sports dreams, cheering for them at all the competitions and being so happy for their kids.

My Nparents were insecure people who used their kids to glorify themselves. Every time I had a success and an accomplishment, instead of being happy and proud for me, they would take credit for it by saying that the reason I was able to make it was 10000% because of them, that without them I would be nothing, that I would be a failure and a homeless junkie who failed out of elementary school, that I would never be able to move out and live independently. They would never give me credit for anything that I did even if I was the one doing all the studying, practicing, learning, rehearsals, reading, mental work, etc. they didn’t have to do anything aside from driving me places and paying for some lessons. And when they had to do that, they would complain and complain about what a hassle it was and what a financial burden it was to support their kids and tell everybody else what GREAT PARENTS THEY WERE for paying for shit and driving us to things.

If I had made it to the Olympics and won medals, my Nparents would 100000% have made it all about themselves and about how it was all because of them that I made it, and saying that without them I would be nothing at all. Even if I was the one who had to do all the practices, training, gym conditioning, qualifying competitions, etc, to get my medals, and that they didn’t have to do any of that.

It made me really really doubt my own abilities and I wondered if I was capable of doing anything without my parents. Turns out, I can - I moved out and lived on my own, I lived in another country, I ran half marathons, I built my own business, etc. My therapist made me realize that because my parents had low self esteem, that their only source of self esteem was their kids, and therefore they never wanted us to succeed for our own sake, they wanted us to succeed 10000% for THEM. She made me realize that whatever my Nparents thought about my abilities and how they stole credit for my successes had nothing to do with my actual abilities, that it had everything to do with THEIR problems and THEIR insecurities and that I was a capable person who could succeed well in my own right and that I deserved all my success.

After all, it’s much easier to make someone else do all the hard work and then succeed and then claim and steal all the credit for it rather than do the hard work yourself and succeed yourself.