I had a bad Christmas with my Nmom and Enabler Dad this past year. All the other adults who are usually there for holidays (GC brother, my husband, my awesome SIL etc)were sick. So I got to be reminded, quite drastically, about how little of a shit they give about me as a person. Apparently, they can mask it pretty well when others are around but omg 😲 the tables turned hard this holiday and they treated me like a servant- an idiotic servant who is subhuman.

Since then I've been lowering contact with them and trying to work on my PTSD. It's a slog. In doing this work I'm also unraveling Religious Trauma too so I asked my parents and others to not discuss church stuff in front of me. They didn't like that at all and they refuse to take any responsibility for how that contributed to my abusive marriage.

After that I was extremely LC but my birthday is coming up. The only time my mother pays me any attention is gift giving holidays. She is obsessed with giving gifts for some reason but being a Narc the gifts she gives to me are just things she wants herself. She had said she wanted to come down to take us to lunch...on a weekday. So of course we said IDK we will have to check with work.

So we cleared our schedules and said OK you can come...to which she responds that she's now not sure they can. Like bitch this was your fucking idea. After I have been mentally preparing to deal with her for two weeks. I want to keep some relationship going because I want the house when they die but that's about it at the moment.

I wish I had parents that truly loved me