I lurk here, because 100% of what gets posted is relateable. I can never read the comments, though - or I end up feeling beyond blue.

For some reason, ever since coming out to my parents (75 yoa and 80 yoa, respectively) almost 10 years ago, about my CSA, I instantly think of my parents’ reaction every time thoughts of the abuse creep up.

“Why didn’t you tell us???”

I have kids of my own and I would NEVER say this to them! After being physically abused in my marriage and told by my marriage counselor that my ex would kill me if I didn’t leave, my parents had the same reaction:

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Irony is my parents instilling in me what a big mouth I was when I was little - how I could keep no secrets. Only, I obviously can keep many secrets.

But now their reaction haunts me more than my abuse ever did.