First off, I am really glad to have discovered this group and other similar threads that somehow gave support and comfort by sharing stories of survival.

Quick bio: im a single parent currently living alone with my preschooler. Both my parents are narcissists, and have dedicated golden children (I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers). I am the scapegoat for everyone as my mom was a major enabler on top of her verbal abuse / daily shouting, humiliation, you name it. My dad, being the apathetic loser he is, also happened to be a sex addict and would constantly cheat on my mom. This pretty much gave my mom a victim crown and she wore it proudly, trash talking anyone who doesn’t follow her way.

So decided to go full on NC with 95% of my immediate family last Christmas. The event leading to this was not that extreme as compared to others, but getting text messages such as “I withdraw any financial obligations to my granddaughter” and “she doesn’t want to see you again” (they used to take care of her while I was at work) is something that really broke the camel’s back for me. It brought back so many of the trauma, hatred and spite that even after two years of therapy, the repercussions feel just as brand new as if the abuse just happened.

Then today, my Ndad showed up unannounced on my front door. It triggered so much anxiety that I nearly lashed out on my daughter. I had the gumption to not open since guards have been instructed in my building to not let any strangers in. Apparently he managed to squeeze his way out of security. Though my Ndad is not capable of physical assault, his verbal assaults are much more painful.

I had to wait for half the day just so I could feel safe going out with my daughter. Are my feelings valid for feeling truly unsafe? I’m seriously done with any confrontation and now I’m paranoid that any of them might show up at my doorstep again.