I was in the ER today, I let my dad know immediately so he doesn’t get mad. He insisted I call him, I told him the nurse and doctor are coming in and out and that I can text but not be on a call. He tried to guilt me, “why is it so difficult for you to spare 5 minutes to talk to your father?” Then said, “there is a time and place for different modes of communication.” I told him I agreed and that texting works better for this time and place and left it there...

After I got out of the ER I called him on my way home, he called me selfish, told me I’m testing his patience and if I’m not careful im going to lose the final bit of love he has for me. “I ask for a 5 minute phone call and you won’t even give me that. Do you have any idea how much time I spend working for you!? So you have health insurance!? So you can finish school!? I’m your father and nobody will love you more than I do, but you won’t even give me 5 minutes?” We normally talk on the phone weekly, but I was in the middle of finals and that didn’t happen these 2 weeks, just texts.

He called my mom (divorced, she told me) and went off about how I didn’t invite him to my graduation (I did). Context, all I said was that I understood if he can’t make it since he’s working internationally… he got mad at the assumption so I apologized and told him he’s invited only for him to tell me it’s unrealistic to expect him to drop everything and come since “that’s not how jobs work.” He’s been pushing for me to travel there during my literal last semester of college (that’s somehow realistic?) and now it’s “I’m trying to give you a free international trip as a graduation gift, why won’t you accept it?” I told him I start my new job soon and it’s not a good time (not a lie but I also don’t want to go…) he asked how much I’m getting paid and said he was going to spend at least that much on me for the week so I’d be fine… I told him that’s not how jobs work😅

Anyway, while on the phone on my way home I couldn’t help it and told him, “Do you realize what you’re doing? Forgive my tone but I’m tired, not feeling well, barely ate all day, I was in the ER and now is not the time to focus on your hurt feelings! Completely tactless!” 1-2 years ago I never would have told him this. He responded with “we’ll talk when you’re less tired and emotional.” 😑 honestly though that’s genuine progress, sadly.

I was in the freaking ER but somehow everything is about him… didn’t even tell me to feel better…