Okay, So I (cisF28) went NC with my mum about 3 months ago... I've been in some deep therapy for about 2 years now but some of my main issues come from growing up with a Narc mum.

Our relationship came to a head when my Fiancee came out as Trans (MtF) In January, she is of course super against it and is actually the only person in my family and my partner's family who kicked off/ 'disagreed' with everything.

I left it a month and a half to contact her again after being strictly instructed that it would be safest to avoid her. ( my own dad told me this ) anyway, after agreeing to meet for lunch we had a pleasant lunch we went on to discuss all these issues but of course that didn't happen I ended up being screamed at in public and told my partner needed to be locked up for being trans and I'm brainwashed... and of course, I'm not BI because otherwise, id have told her years ago (clearly many reasons I didn't)

I ended up of course in tears at her cruel comments, and walked out and went no contact since...

I've been thinking for a while about trying one more time for the rest of my family's behalf as well as my own (so I have no regrets as she is on and off with serious illnesses) and even my partner thinks as long as I'm ready I should go for that conversation with her one more time, I don't have high hopes because well she is a full-blown Narcissist.

I've made it clear to everyone in my family that if she is not willing to make certain efforts (invite my partner to family events etc) then I'm not interested... and they all agreed with me that if she continues down this road, of course, it is well within my right to go NC

I know all her tells and signs to watch out for but, I am still nervous because she of course knows how to get under my skin and pull a reaction out of me and is brilliant at trying to manipulate a situation.

Ideally, she agrees to play nice with my partner and I can keep LC with her for family's sake and be able to be in a grey-walling situation with her while still having a lot easier support from the rest of the family.

Has anyone, got any advice at all, anything they can recommend? I'll take all I can get and at this point

I just want a peaceful, loving life with my partner