My relationship with my mother has always been rocky, but especially so after my parents divorce since I became the new scapegoat for all of her problems.

For the last couple of years it’s been just us, and occasionally her on and off again boyfriend. Last year our relationship really went to shit when she found out I was gay. Everything went to shit. She wasn’t letting me go out without guilt tripping me, threatening to kill herself because of me being gay, and constant arguments every time I went out. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t leave the house unless it’s for uni or work. It’s extremely depressing. I’m not allowed to go to bars without starting a fight, or seeing my girlfriend. It’s been a rough couple of months and I’ve mostly been working towards becoming more independent so I can leave by next year. I’m trying to buy a car cash so I don’t need her to co-sign anything, and I’m looking for fully funded graduate program. I am currently in therapy as well but honestly not being able to leave the house without getting a dirty look is really stressing me out and I’m in a constant state of anxiety whenever I let my nmom know I’m going out somewhere. It’s a miserable existence and I don’t know how I’m supposed to live like this for one more year.