Alright, here goes it. I’m sick and tired of reading posts from men stating that there are no women on here. We exist. But we are discerning. In the name of helping more people get laid (or finding whatever connection it is they are looking for) I’m going to provide some guidance on how to positively catch the attention of someone (more specifically, women) on this subreddit which will give you a MUCH higher chance of finding what you are looking for.

What qualifies me to make this post? Well, I’m a woman who has made several connections with good men, woman and couples over the last 10 months on this subreddit. Each connection has occurred because I DM’d them from a HIGH QUALITY post they made.

Now, before people come for me, I realise I do not speak for all woman. This is just what has worked for me.

1. BE DELIBERATE AND DETAILED

I want TONS of information. Not so much information that you can be doxxed, but enough information for me to be able to respond in an informed way. The following is a list of information that helps me to decide if I’m going to DM someone:

Age

Gender

Location (be somewhat specific…GTA is insufficient information)

Race (this one is a difficult one. I’m not particular about race, but some people are. Might as well weed out those who are particular upfront so you don’t have to waste your time with them)

Ability to host or not

STI status

General hygiene

Relationship status (if you are cheating just say it…it won’t be for everyone but many won’t care)

Personality

Occupation/Hobbies

Availability

Specifics about who/what you are looking/not looking for(the type of person, what kind of relationship you want, the kinks you want to explore, hard boundaries, etc). Essentially, tell me what you want, what you really, really want (I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want)

Your experience or lack thereof (with your kinks and/or this kind of situation)

I want to get enough information in a post to quickly assess if there is a certain level of compatibility. I do not have the time or patience to DM back and forth for days/weeks just to find out you live in Windsor and aren’t planning to be in Toronto until next August for a wedding. If you have that information now, put it in your post!

1. STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD

What does this look like?

A well detailed, grammatically correct post. Think paragraphs, not sentences.

Humour.

Pics (if you are comfortable).

Personality. I love when someone’s personality comes across in their post.

1. CALL OUT YOUR INSECURITIES

Obviously we don’t need to know each and every insecurity you have. But if there is an insecurity you have regarding something sexual and it’s holding you back from living your best life, call it out. I promise there are wonderful women who would love the opportunity to explore that with you.

Do you have a small penis that you are insecure about? Great. Call it out. I promise you there is someone that really wants to rock your world.

Are you a guy that’s really subby but doesn’t yet feel comfortable with it? Perfect. There are women that would love to have their way with you.

RESPECT AND SAFETY

Here is what’s happened in my head when I’m reading posts - just like in real life, I’m looking for red flags. From a VERY young age, women learn that there are bad people out there and we need to be on alert. Always. The world is a dangerous place for women so we are ALWAYS screening the world. Men have a hard time understanding how attuned our spidey sense is. We need information to be able to gauge compatibility and safety. We are always on the lookout for red flags (and the green ones as well…we love the green flags). I’m looking for anything that tells me this person isn’t for me. I’m reading your post history. I’m reading your comment history.

Things that stand out as a negative for me (and many other woman as well): - Posting/commenting anything misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic/biphobic. Honestly, anything that lacks intolerance is a no from me, dog. If you are intolerant of others that are different from you, I assume you are not a decent person. - Posting low quality comments (i.e. “32m, hung, DM me). This shows a lack of effort upfront. - Seeing that you are posting the same/similar post every few days on multiple subreddits. ESPECIALLY if it goes back months. This can come across as desperate. Just delete the old ones.

Women want to be treated respectfully and as equals. Even the ones that want to be disrespected most often than not want to be respectfully disrespected. Your respect for women should easily be noticed in your post. Again, even the posts that are strong in humiliation and degradation should still come across as respectful of women and their boundaries.

WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?

Spend a good hour crafting a well detailed post about yourself and what you are looking for. Put in effort. Proper sentence structures and grammar. Chat GPT is your friend. Use the tools that are available to you.

Delete the weird shit in your post and comment history. Or create a new profile.

All of this needs to happen in advance of you getting any DM’s. But doing this will set you apart from 97% of the other posts and will HIGHLY increase your chances of making a connection.

WHEN REPLYING TO POSTS:

When responding via DM to women/couples who post PUT IN EFFORT. It doesn’t have to be the same amount of effort as you would put in for a post, but for the love of God, provide them with enough information to set yourself apart using the same guidelines/principles that are stated above.

IF ALL OF THE ABOVE IS TOO MUCH EFFORT FOR YOU:

Sex workers exist. They exist for a reason. There is no shame in hiring someone to help you fulfil what your heart desires. It’s less effort than all of the above. This shouldn’t need to be stated but I’ll say it loud for everyone in the back:

SEX WORKERS DESERVE RESPECT. SO RESPECT THEM.

Now go and find someone to have some steamy consensual fun with.