…and I wish I had a husband to feed them to me. It’s a big bathtub, definitely room for two (probably)!

I’m looking for a husband. Pretty self explanatory. Yes, I know, a rather bold goal. The single life simply just doesn’t do it for me; I find fwb/nsa to be superficial and empty.

Nope, what I’m looking for is a husband. Not someone else’s, no no… I would like one to call my own (so if you’re not single, please kindly do not message me). I’m not super interested in taking years and years to get there either so if you like to go slow and take your time, wandering along without intent and direction, we won’t be a good fit.

I’m not looking for a specific type of person, I tend to appreciate the individual nuances instead. There are some things that are necessary in a partner though… prioritising health, emotional availability, a common end goal, to name a few.

So send me a message and we can swap our basic things there, what we bring to the table and whether we are ok with each other’s offerings! If that’s a go, then we plan a date! We each bring a book and see how it goes!

A few things to flag: I’m not going to sext you or send you nudes, and I don’t send a picture until we’ve established some kind of connect. I’m chubby/fat and average looking, and that’s all you need to know until you need to know more. I’ve also historically replied to every message I’ve received however I’ve decided that I’m not going to reply to folks who clearly did not read my post, or whose conversational style is a clear mismatch (dudes who message with “Hi”, I’m lookin’ at you). I’m also not going to message any people who comment requesting I DM them. I made the post… if you’re interested, the onus is on you to put some effort in to connect with me.

I’ve also decided to post this at a rather busy time in life so some patience will be required, however it’s also a time when I have a glorious amount of freedom. I look forward to hearing from whomever!