This is going to be a very bitter take, stemming from lived experiences of attempting to date or find FWBs using apps like Hinge and, of course, this platform.

I have had some “success” in terms of meeting men off this platform and here are some of the highlights over the past year.

1. Indian/African immigrant dude who called me a FOB on our first date, forced himself on me throughout the date in public , swatted my hand away when I tried to pay the bill at the restaurant where we ate, bitched about his ex for 95% of the date when he wasn’t trying to manhandle me, and later when I said I wasn’t interested to meet him again, asked for my share of the bill (which I promptly sent) and said he was racially discriminated too and so it was fine.

2. Immigrant finance bro who catfished to the point of me wondering if I got the wrong apartment. His bathroom was covered in mucus, spit, water, hair and other mystery gunk. I boiled myself twice to wash away the memory of that incident.

3. Another immigrant finance bro was acting sooo shy, like a blushing bride, was more than happy to make my mouth his personalised banana hammock, patted me on my head and sent me on my way because I was on my period, so he absolutely had no use for me.

4. Self described BBC who simply does not know how to use it, wouldn’t even offer a glass of water after using me like a sentient flesh light, expects me to find my way home at 3 in the morning knowing I live 2 hours away by transit. Keeps talking about not having a condom but it magically appears when I refuse to have sex without it. Always pushes for anal or recording ourselves and then gets annoyingly defensive when I mention I don’t fuck with that.

5. The only white Canadian man I met, took me to 3 different spots to make out, promised to get together at his place the next day. Ghosted the day of. No explanation, repeatedly left me on seen.

One common thing amongst all these men? They all had the knack of making me feel like absolute shit in one way or the other, always mentioning an ex or former FWB who would do x, y or z and why couldn’t I do x, y or even a naughty little k, because surely I would to impress him.

Kindly excuse the rant. Needed to get that off my ample chest.