I am a cis-man in my mid-40’s living in Toronto who is very much into mutual masturbation. I like to watch others, I like to be watched, but overall, I like to masturbate in the company of others masturbating as well. I’m actually demisexual (which places me on the asexual spectrum), so deeper intimate relations with another person requires a deep connection. However, masturbation “for the love of the sport” with a friend or even someone I’ve just met is usually fair game if we determine we have decent conversational chemistry. If I like you, lots of general touching of each other’s bodies is also something I’d enjoy a lot (cuddling, in other words, I’m known to be extremely physically passionate). I’m also pansexual, so I’m open to any gender/sexual orientation masturbating with me, so long as we have some sort of decent interpersonal vibe.

The only problem is that none of my current friends seem like the type that would masturbate with me; I know this to be true and I would never force this desire of mine upon anyone who wasn’t interested.

That said, I’ve been pro-active in exploring certain avenues so that I can immerse myself in environments where this type of activity is appropriate and accepted. I’ve been to Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, and Club M4 in Mississauga on a few occasions.

While my experiences at sex clubs have all been positive, I’ve gone alone every time. I’m quite introverted, but I always find my way into a situation where I determine a spot at an appropriate distance to masturbate without looking thirsty or intrusive on anyone else’s space. On a couple of occasions, I’ve met people to masturbate with at sex clubs but rarely do I feel like my boundaries are fully understood. Nothing bad has ever happened, but I just always get the feeling they want more contact than what I’m interested in having and have to say “no” to certain things. My boundaries aren’t complicated…nothing oral, no vaginal/anal penetration…simple as that!

I’d like to continue to explore sex clubs because the energy is exhilarating and it satisfies the exhibitionist in me. I am writing here to see if I can find some folks to go with me; people who are interested in going for the same reasons I am. Not seeking sex, but simply to absorb the energy of the venue, be naked, cuddle, perhaps tan on the patio in the sunshine and be in a place where it feels comfortable and appropriate to masturbate with others that feel they want to do the same.

I cannot stress enough:

• I don’t want to bring company to a sex club so that I can later convince them or be convinced to have full-on sex. I don’t want to have sex. With anyone!
• I’m not offering to pay for anyone’s entry fee. We would each pay our own way.
• I’m NOT asking for people to go with me because I’m too shy to go on my own. I’ve already said I’ve been to sex clubs a number of times, and I’ll go many more times on my own without hesitation. This post is to see if anyone wants to come with me, and enjoy the pleasure of mutual masturbation with someone they can feel comfortable with in a safe environment.
• I don’t really want to do anything with anyone outside of a sex club, unless we click and get to know one another on a more personal level in the safe space of the club, and we both agree that we are comfortable doing so. Would it be great to have a friend to get together with at their place or mine to hang out and mutually masturbate? Of course it would, but one step at a time! Would it also be fun to go to other naked venues such as clothing-optional beaches, or nude resorts with someone; both of us knowing and understanding that those are definitely NOT places you masturbate, but have someone you feel comfortable naked with just to go hang out there anyway? Absolutely, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves!

If you are still reading this, thank you! Here’s the type of person I would foresee being good fit for this endeavour:

• Someone who likes mutual masturbation but doesn’t know how to find people to do it with. (ie, shy, trust issues, avoiding creepy Reddit posts, asexuality spectrum, etc.)
• Someone who has always wanted to explore a sex club, didn’t want to do it alone, but also didn’t want to go with someone who might pressure them into doing anything that they didn’t want to do. All I ask is that you’re comfortable with mutual masturbation when we inevitably become aroused by the environment. I’m not going to insist or pressure you to masturbate, but I want to make sure you are comfortable being in my presence while I do. I don’t mind being watched, even if that’s all you want to do.
• Someone who is very comfortable being naked and sexual in front of strangers, or who wants to break the barrier of becoming so.

Please DM me if you’d like to chat about this further and execute a plan. Please approach me with more than just “hi” or “hey”, and please be articulate in your first message about your desires, background, and why this post resonates with you. I’d really like to see you make the effort to lay some groundwork in your first message with the same energy I have in this post. Looking forward to getting to know you.