When I first posted to r/r4rtoronto, my intentions were threefold:

• Have a safe, fun, dirty encounter
• If that was an overall positive experience, post more and work my way up my bucket list of increasingly kinky fantasies
• Document my progress

Unfortunately, after a couple of weeks of reflection, I've decided that this is going to be my final post. Here's why.

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My first post was an experiment. I have a very high sex drive, but I'm also pretty shy and awkward and dorky. I have a lot of fantasies and kinks that I want to explore, and I wasn't having the kinds of experiences in my regular life that I wanted to. Reddit seemed like the perfect place to solve that. I could post anonymously, and be really detailed and particular about what I wanted, and filter through essentially unlimited replies based on some clearly defined criteria until I found exactly what I was looking for. And it worked! I actually posted my first post twice; the first one didn't quite get the results I was after, but I learned a lot from that, tweaked my post, made some sections more clear and specific, and sure enough, there was a big improvement on the second pass. I met up with a wonderful stranger, and had a good ol' filthy time.

I was feeling emboldened after that first successful meetup, and started planning a whole series of posts to seek out more encounters - rough sex, BDSM, mff threesomes, mfm threesomes, and beyond, and share my stories with the community along the way.

Then something unexpected happened. After I shared my success post, I continued getting flooded with messages. I assumed they would trail off, but the opposite happened. The polite, mature, compelling ones dwindled, while the rude gross ones actually increased. I've been getting hounded by guys telling me to put them 'next in line', asking when it'll be 'their turn', and being just super fucking vulgar about what they're looking for. Even more then when I first posted.

I decided early on that I'd try my best to reply to every message I got - I figured if someone took the time to put themselves out there and shoot their shot, a friendly reply is really the least I could do. The result of this has been primarily two things:

• Guys getting really fucking angry at me and lashing out at being rejected / calling me a slut
• Guys taking my rejection message as a sign that I want to be friends, and bombarding me with tons of messages

Many of those guys have also followed my account, which is another big deterrent. Whenever I think about posting again, all I can think about is the 300 guys I didn't pick the first time, especially the ones who didn't take it well, all replying to the next one. Dealing with the rejected guys is now overshadowing the success aspect for me.

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This isn't a 'poor me' story. It's more of a reflection. I probably should have known what to expect when I posted a 'please come fuck my face' post. But the truth is, now that I've had my fun time, and I'm not in extreme horny mode anymore, keeping up with this avalanche of unwanted messages is a huge drag, and it genuinely makes me not want to post again. 😢

So, some parting wisdom if there's anyone left reading my rantings:

• Be friendly and polite and thoughtful and well-written! I appreciate that it probably really sucks to do that over and over and never get chosen, and I don't really have advice for dealing with that as a guy. But not putting some thought and effort into replies will. not. work. Women just get way too many messages for the low-effort / gross messages to ever win out against the good ones.
• If you don't get picked, it's not personal. The women you're replying to don't know anything about you. I met up with one guy, which means I didn't meet up with 300 guys, and I'm sure a bunch of those guys are amazing, interesting, sexy people. I just didn't come here to suck off 300 guys. Sorry.
• Sending tons of messages to all the women here will probably drive them away. Well, I can't speak for everyone, but it's driving me away. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, idk. But if y'all want more horny women to post here, just chill the fuck out and don't scare them away.

Aaaaaanyway, thanks for the fun and educational time, r/r4rtoronto! I'm gonna leave these posts up in case anyone out there likes reading long nerdy rants, but I'm not going to be posting or replying to messages anymore.

Bye