There are more but these are the biggies and 10 seemed like a good number.

1. Rock star parking! Seriously, this is a big one.
2. I give wheelchair rides. I'm quite comfy and walking is overrated.
3. People let me cut in lines. I'm not sure why they do but it beats sitting outside in the cold.
4. Playing the "Cripple Card" is the best excuse for getting out of shit you don't want to do. Who's going to argue that I don't feel well? This superpower also applies to my 1.
5. People give me free shit. Again, I don't quite get their reasoning but you'll be covered under this policy as well. Free shit is good.
6. I'm the best comedy fodder ever. Ever been out with a drunk, crippled guy that makes up stories about how he got hurt? No? I highly recommend it.
7. I'm like having a built-in lawn chair. Everywhere we go, you'll have a place to sit. Think about it.
8. I use a power chair. Do you have any idea how much this thing can carry? Think shopping bags, picnic supplies, survival gear?
9. I'm really difficult to kidnap. Think this is just a perk for me? Think again, I can say with 99.99% certainty that you will NEVER have to pay a ransom.
10. In the event of a zombie apocalypse or bear attack, I'm easy to outrun. (I can't promise that I won't later eat your brains, but that's the risk you take when dating a pre-zombie.)

Not only am I funny, I'm also not horrible looking, smart, thoughtful, live alone, have a great career, a super-sexy minivan (total panty dropper, I know) AND a second bathroom! What else could anyone ask for?

I'm looking for someone that also has a sense of humor. I tend to gravitate toward sweethearts and I find intelligence to be sexy. I don't have a specific physical type, except I'm definitely attracted to thin or athletic body types. Sorry, "bigger" just isn't my jam. Age is inconsequential to me as I’ve dated both much older and younger than myself. I can handle crazy but not, like, stab me crazy.

I'm open to a lot of things but I'm looking for something more than just platonic friendship, I have friends and I don't want to make out with any of them. If you’re looking for “just a friend”, I wish you luck but it’s not me. And definitely something more than just online. Not necessarily jumping into a relationship right away (I'm open to it) but someone to DATE for a while. I want a connection. My career is here and I don’t see that changing in the near future so anyone interested needs to be open to distance at first. Madison is a great place to live, though. ;) So please be in the same part of the world or at least capable to be.

I also need to mention that I'm child free and don't see that changing, either. It's best to be upfront as I'm not here to trick anyone. In that same vain of not tricking anyone, I do video/voice verify fairly early on. I'd say a solid 90% of the responses I get are catfish. At least they all find me charming and handsome, though. That part is real, right???

If you think we might vibe, let's give it a go.

Here's a recent selfie to show I'm not a hideous beast: [Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/HVmPEg4.jpg)

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***PSA*** There's a dude using my posts verbatim and I have been told he's a complete douche bag. He uses a few different usernames. This is my only account and he blocked me after I called him out.