Salutations and hello to all of you beautiful people!

Despite the depressing world of online dating, I still subscribe to idea that my person is out there. My kindred spirit, my soulmate, my true love…it’s so ridiculous and mushy but it’s absolutely true. And I just got a job offer yesterday and I feel like maybe the universe is telling me it’s time to find them.

I’m a hopeful romantic, I want to find my best friend and make-out buddy. Share our joys and struggles. Be the reason I smile and giggle when I get a text. Make you smile and giggle when I text you. Swap stories, send memes, flirt endlessly. Shoot each other good morning texts and wish each other sweet dreams at night. Send sweet little love notes and surprise “I-saw-this-small-thing-at-the-store-and-though-of-you-because-I’m-always-thinking-of-you” gifts. Be that couple who make people roll their eyes a little and smile “they are still so in love after all this time.”

Do you want that? I want that.

So let’s lay this out, shall we?

About me: - Nerdy, chubby, tattooed introvert who is working on a masters degree and has a professional job (5’3”, size 14/16, if you’re a stats type). Hair color changes often, right now it’s a green/blue. Tomorrow it might be pink. Your guess is as good as mine. And yes I am sticking my tongue out at you (https://imgur.com/a/9cWafgd) - Takes care of my own shit and adults pretty dang well. - Single and divorced, coparent of a high schooler. Not interested in having more children, uterus is closed for business. - Left of liberal who’s passionate about human rights. - Tries to practice love, compassion, and kindness to all people. - ADHD squirrel brain who is easily distracted by shiny things. - Can be slightly neurotic and overthink everything (thanks ADHD and anxiety!). Values therapy and working on myself. - Uses way too many parentheses, hyphens, and emojis. I know this. Sometimes I will throw in a semicolon for funsies. Big fan of the Oxford comma. I’ve been told I text much like I talk. I have no idea how this information is useful but now you have it. - I don’t drink or use any drugs - staying up way too late past my bed time is my main vice. - Geeks out mainly to science fiction and fantasy. - Can be found doing arts/crafts, reading, baking, or playing video games in spare time. - I’m silly and goofy AF. Make me laugh and I’ll fall in love (fair warning: I can have a really dry and dark sense of humor). - Sex positive - I very much enjoy physical intimacy in all forms including kissing, snuggling, and nose boops. Expect me to pinch your butt, probably in public (what? your butt is cute and I like it). *this does not mean I will send you nekkid pictures or want pictures of your junk * Romance a girl, will ya? - Body positive - I try to eat nutritious food and intentionally move my body on the daily but I’m not surviving on a diet of baked spinach, boiled chicken, and underwater yoga. It’s taken me a long time to accept and love myself, I want someone to accept and love me for me too. Also, I love all sort of body shapes and sizes in others. I’m most attracted to what’s in someone’s head and heart.

About you: - Be a human from planet Earth. - Ideally have taken between 33-53 trips around the sun. - Kind, compassionate, and open-minded. - Be emotionally available (google is free if you’re unsure what this means). - Be able and willing to engage in full conversations - I love getting to know people and not just in one word replies. I’m an introvert but 1:1 I can talk a lot. And, crazy, want to get to know me too. - Not married (even a little) or in another relationship (no shame to the poly community, just not my thing). - Be open to voice/phone calls and, I hope this is obvious, down the road meeting IRL. I can’t kiss your face over the phone. - Have things you’re passionate about and want to share with someone. - Working to better yourself, however that looks to you. - Be willing to be weird and be comfortable with it. We are all weird, my little kittens, deep down. You know that, I know that, let’s be weird together.

My true philosophy is that we don’t need to be into the same movies/shows/games/music/whatever. I think people who have morals/values/ethics aligned are better matched more so than if they both enjoy Star Trek reruns (or agree Radiohead is the best band ever - which they are but I’m just sayin’). I’ll support and have fun learning about your interests and hopefully you’ll do the same for me.

I know the chances of meeting someone on Reddit who is geographically close to me isn’t likely. I’m down for a LDR if there’s a goal down the road for something more.

Whew! That was a bit much and if you’re still here with me at the end here, awww, hiya cutie pie! I think you should just shoot me a message. Why not? The universe is a strange, wonderful place and maybe we’re meant to experience it together.