I'm going to start with some straight facts

1. Mexican food is NOT good, I don't care, fight me. It's the same 5 ingredients wrapped in a different shaped tortilla.
2. If you make politics or religion your entire personality, we won't get along. If you make your entire personality about cheesecake though, things could happen.
3. My memory is terrible, don't ask me things.
4. I'm not good with numbers.
5. I got two speeding tickets in the space of 10 minutes once, don't challenge me.
6. My memory is terrible, don't ask me things.
7. I have all of Gordon ramsays sass and none of his cooking ability.
8. Pickles are my arch nemesis, anyone that drinks pickle juice straight from the jar is a different kind, seek help.
9. I like to make songs up about my cats and sing them back to them, thinking about releasing an album.

What am I looking for? A woman that won't judge my Playlist of rock and metal music with One Direction and Taylor Swift sprinkled in. Be single and monogamous, I reluctantly share my fries so I definitely don't like sharing my partner. I'd prefer it if you were younger or around my age but it's whatever, if you're older you can just knit me a scarf. Please only live within the United States, possibly Canada if you smuggle me some poutine.

About me? My picture is on my profile, I'd recommend seeing my mugshot before messaging in case I'm not your type, I understand if I'm not but you'd be missing out as I openly encourage you to put your cold feet on my legs for warmth. I'm 31, originally from England but live in the Midwest now, bald, beard, 6'1, got a bit of a belly but actively working on myself and doing well. I have a good job and 2 cats that reep the benefits of that, spoilt brats. I bought a Costco membership solely to buy English cheddar cheese, I'm built different. I like doing things that my inner child enjoys, I'll play video games in my down time, I enjoy going to amusement parks, exchanging $240 worth of tickets at arcades for a $6 plushie or demolishing anyone in my path when playing mini golf. Pftt what else, idk, come learn more in my DMs.

Toodles