Yes, I'm using reddit to search for companionship. That doesn't make me a bad guy. In fact, I'm quite the polite gentleman in most regards. I just happen to have an extremely high libido and I'm coming out of a decade of dead bedroom. Sue me, okay?

But all that's here are OnlyFans girls, Instagram models, and assorted sex workers. I don't care if that's your choice; as long as you're not hurting anyone (including yourself) and you're able to pay the bills, great. But don't waste both of our time by reaching out to me and following what I now recognize as a predictable script usually delivered by AI bots or workers at a contact service. There is literally nothing you can say to get me to make me your customer. If I want porn there's ten billion terabytes of it on the internet free for the taking.

Sorry, it got away from me. I'm just tired of all the bullshit here.

Okay.

If you're still here, thank you. You might actually be a real person. Here's my deal, no bullshit.

I'm a 53M, white, 6' tall, 200 lbs (fit/in-shape), non-smoker/drinker/drugs, clean, groomed. I work a regular day job and I live with my daughter so my opportunities to go out are somewhat limited, but I can usually make time given enough notice and can sometimes make time with minimal notice. I like hiking/geocaching, outdoor markets, logic puzzles, working with my hands, and what the world now refers to as "retro gaming". I have no food allergies but can be a picky eater.

I'm not looking for an LTR seeing as how I just recently got out of one. For the moment I'm looking for friendship, occasional dating, intimacy, and play. Yes, I like sex and that's a big part of what I'm looking for. You should like sex too; shocking, right? And if you're reading this thinking about fulfilling that "daddy kink" or that "white guy kink" or whatever, or if you're also in a dead bedroom situation and want a relief valve, that's all fine but put that right up front just so I know where you're coming from. And no, I'm not going to try to bed you right away, I'm not going to send you dick pics, and I'm not going to make every aspect of our initial conversations about sex. I want to have a civilized conversation with you, first online then in person (in public), to see if we're on the same page and we're convinced the other isn't from the crazy farm. Once that's settled then we decide where to go from there.

Still with me?

Top of the list: You are reasonably local (read: no more than roughly 30 minute highway drive from the New Brunswick area). You have a sense of humor, even if it's just recognizing and groaning in understanding when you hear a dad joke. You are adventurous and enthusiastic about things that interest you. You love animals. You are clean and groomed, and make at least a semi-serious attempt at healthy living (or are working into that). You are practical and understand the realities of living in the modern world.

Dealbreakers: If you smoke (occasional 420 is fine), that's a line-of-duty no. If you're a Trumptard, I'm out. (I'd explain why but you aren't smart enough to understand it.) If you think there are people in this world who deserve less by merit of who or what they are, good-bye. If you allow your religion to define your life both in public and private, that's an issue.

I expect zero credible responses to this post. Don't let me down, reddit.