I bet some of you, who hangs out on this subreddit, must have seen my posts, let alone my username popping up on your screen, once every few days.

Maybe my writing might be amusing or downright annoying to you. Who knows…

I got out of a 6 year long relationship last November. In a matter of few weeks, this would have been year 7. If what we planned aligned with reality, we were gonna get married at the end of this year. But after our on-and-off standoff since November, I hit a certain threshold to realise that no matter how hard I tried to sit down and talk things through, she would avoid confrontation and/or brainstorming about next phase of our life, and there came a point that her career and family took a lot of her time, and what we once planned felt like a fading dream, instead having a concrete plan around it.

My parents knew her, and she knew them. Always made sure that she was held in high regard, even when things were not smooth last year. It's unimaginable how, in a span of few hours, those love ya went to don't wanna be here anymore

I had a perfect childhood, while she had it rough. So I'd often always be compassionate to her, the way people in my family were compassionate with each other. Looked out for her, even as her toxic mom would often take her for granted and sometimes took advantage of her kindness (her mom is a major reason why we had a rough last year)...

Yeah yeah yeah. You are not here to read a sob story of yet another guy. But when you've been long enough with someone, it's not the memories of person that often make you feel meh, but the void that they have left behind, makes you feel like you just wanna hold on to someone

I've had a solid emotional support system. A lot of people know my main reddit alias, and hence know me irl. It was a process to realise and be assured that with few exceptions, I did everything I could have to save this relationship, but it takes two people's willingness to save a relationship, even if it's one person's hardwork... that's a notion I finally accepted somewhere in march, after being in denial for first few months.

Made some changes. Cut down on work travel, and moved back to stay closer to my people in Bombay. Can never be grateful to have friends and family, who'd be around, even when you'd often hesitate to confide in them (or think that you are overburdening them)

I'm glad to be finally feeling much better than the heydays in November!

Sometimes when you are in this state, the one where you've been detaching from your ex, regardless of whose fault it would have been, you often have moments wherein you wanna start over with someone or just have moments of intimacy with someone to feel warm and satiate that need to be wanted.

I may start arranged-marriage courting in few months, but I wanted to start something by myself. So this reddit alias was more of an experiment, to see where things lead. Had great time drafting posts here, well, because it's one of the things I devour - writing.

There were lots of highlights from few conversations I've had in last 40 days (I can tell you it was around 20-25 conversation threads, which I guess is nothing compared to what a F4M post have to endure in their inbox, as conversation requests!). One of them was how dating apps these days have "Incognito" mode (last used a dating app was back in 2016-2017). Someone who was forced to marry a widower, and are now starting over, after taking that bold step from being separated, they started their life all over again in a new city. Or how about... I guess except 2-4 conversation threads (some of it was on me!), almost every conversation was a highlight!

Putting yourself out here to date or even cuddle feels like a chore. But the quality of responses are worth the effort, relative to dating app. Guess it feels more organic, not knowing what person on other end of conversation looks like...

So, here I'm - without any new content to put myself here with! I'm open for dating, and see where it leads us. I'm also open cuddle dates, to snuggle with someone for intimacy. And, if for nothing, I'm open to hang out, and rediscovered Bombay as a... tourist!

If for anything, and you'd wanna know more, I'm interspersed in words across previous posts. Tell me which post struck you the most, and which one got into your nerves!

See you around.