💌 A Love Lust Letter to My Future Lover 💌

Dear Future Lover,

I've been pondering over how to verbalize these thoughts for a while, and it just hit me today that a letter format might help me to get it all out, so here goes.

Firstly, I'd like to preface this with 100% honesty: I don't really believe you exist. I'm sorry... you see, I've had an annoying year when it comes to guys, so my expectations of meeting someone even remotely close to what I'm looking for is pretty low, as this is even more specific than before. And yet, I still have a smidgeon of hope left, which, despite everything, motivates me to keep trying. Whew.

Another year has come and is nearly gone, and I dunno, this year has been pretty messed up. Not one, but multiple wars are going on at the same time. Several crazy world leaders are running amuck. There is chaos, division, and hate exploding everywhere. Men and women continue to be at odds, misunderstanding seems to be endless. But perhaps we can find a pocket of joy within each other.

I am a 41-year old single heterosexual woman currently living in Seoul, Korea, with very little work-life balance (by choice) and a healthy libido. I'm looking for one unattached gentleman, one who hopefully understands what I'm trying to express in this letter.

For now, I've relinquished the idea of serious relationships. Perhaps a healthy and mutually beneficial physical bond will lead to an emotional one naturally, who knows? I am open-minded.

I want to say that I've had my share of "bad" sex, but I actually don't really believe there is such a thing, and that sexual compatibility ultimately boils down to two elements:

1. mutual interest/respect: both partners respect each other and genuinely want to give each other pleasure
2. communication: I believe that sex is a language, like having a conversation with our bodies. Thus, both parties need to communicate openly and honestly.

I'm not looking for just any sex, nor do I want to continue having incompatible sex. I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes I get the impression that some folks just seem to go through the motions, you know? Of course, I understand and appreciate the time and place where one might want to just rut like an animal and blow off steam - I'm not knocking anyone's preferences. But I think I'm past that. I want more, and I don't mean quantity, but quality.

Future Lover, I want us to take time to explore and learn about each other. Who are we, sexually? What really gets us hot and bothered? What are the things that will take our pleasure to the next level? I want to know about you, and I want you to want to know about me.

Everyone is different, and on their own sexual journey. I hope that you will show patience (while also enjoying, hopefully) as I learn more about myself and my own sexuality... with your body (haha.) And naturally, if there are things that you've always wanted to try out, or perhaps if you're in a similar situation, I want to help you get a better understanding of your own sexuality as well.

To summarize, I don't want to just have sex with you. I want you to take the time to show me how to rock your world and give you some of the most amazing pleasure you've had in your life. And I expect you to want to try to do the same for me. Let's become each other's sex connoisseurs.

When we're together, I hope that we will uphold some basic principles, such as:

💗Mutual respect, always. I'd like for us create a safe space for each other, where we are free of any judgment, prejudice, past baggage, any of the like. I won't ever judge, ridicule, or intentionally try to hurt or emasculate you, and I expect you to show me the same respect - we are equal partners. Let's leave all that negativity at the door and have blissful fun when we're in bed.

💗Mutual consent. No means no, and shouldn't have to be repeated.

💗Open and transparent communication. I will always want to know what you're thinking, and how you're feeling (in bed, that is.) Let's establish utter transparency in how we communicate with each other, both physically and verbally.

And some initial ground rules:

⚠️Safety First: I literally got tested a week ago and am DDF, and you should be too, no exceptions. Gentlemen who are willing to get tested again after we meet will get much higher priority. I'm not comfortable with STD tests that are more than a month old.

⚠️You're single/unattached. I have a healthy fear of STDs and will not get involved with people who intend to have additional partners. I also 👎 hate cheaters 👎 with a burning passion. Basically, I'm looking for physical exclusivity. And the possibility of us growing into something more might be nice.

⚠️Initial meeting: I have a very hard time feeling physical attraction for anyone - this has been an ongoing problem for some time and I frankly don't know what to about it. I'd like us to meet without any expectations (from either side) for the first time. Honestly, if you don't have the patience for this, then you probably won't have any for anything else in this letter.

And in case you're curious, I have some photos of myself available in my last post. I typically delete old posts when I make new ones, but the other post has more detailed information about me which you might want to read before you contact me, as some of those criteria still apply.

So, Future Partner, if you've read this entire letter, can relate, and think we might be able to hit it off, I'd like to hear from you. A thoughtfully written, polite, and detailed DM from you will increase your chances of getting a response, so take the time to share a little bit of yourself with me and let's go from there.