Well hello hello there! Just your friendly neighborhood big tiddy tattooed goth gf Latina here, looking for some friends in the Austin area (preferably) but not limited to just Austin. I’m sure you see the walk of text and want to nope right out of there. Can’t say I don’t blame you, I tend to be a bit of a wordsmith when the inspiration strikes. Please done hate me 🤣

Life be life-ing as they say and I find myself in dire need of some good vibes, good food and even better company. Would love to foster new friendships/ connections with other like minded little gremlins for in person hang outs or some shenanigans over discord video chat this weekend.

You might be wondering where you come in and why am I a blessing? Well, my future friend, sit back, relax and let me tell you why:

If you’re looking for some solid company and someone who loves good food with vigor, I’m your gal. I have curated an extensive list of places in my time and you can bet your last shekel they’re amazing. Trust me, I’m thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal, I know food. 🤣

I’ve been told recently my ankles are weaker than Anthony Davis and Derick rose, thanks to the 2028266 breaks and twists. I can regale you with tales of my infinite clumsiness. You can laugh at my pain while enjoying delicious food/drinks.

Great wingwoman. I’m better than Dwayne wade at team assists. I will hype you up if you see a cutie and will make sure one of us scores.

Do you like doggos? Well you’re in luck, I happen to have a hell hound I can send copious amount of pictures of. Also pls send me all the pictures of your adorable pets. Not to be dramatic but I would probably die for them.

I’ve got quite the penchant for true crime and niche subreddits. What, pray tell does that mean for you?

Well glad you asked. I will always be skeptical of everything and distrust all and every situation. I’ll make sure our organs don’t end up harvested to the highest bidder.

Thicccc af. I like to think of myself as perpetually thicc and tired. Trying to be less thicc and more tired and trying to lose some weight. If you’re also tired of being thicc and tired we can be each other’s accountability buddies orrrr reason for skipping the gym in favor of a hangout.

Do you love random useless knowledge?

I will absolutely and positively fill your head with the most useless and obscure facts. Bet you didn’t know turtles breathe through their butts.

Well now you do 😏

Huge introvert and really shy in person. I tend to dislike large crowds of people.

How does that benefit you, you may wonder?

Since Intimate more relaxed settings are my jam, I won’t be leaving you high and dry for another group of people. Humans make me nervous but I might just ditch you for a pack of doggos.

Looks don’t matter to me since I’m just looking for cool people to vibe with, but if you’re curious as to what I look like, I have a few pictures in my profile and I can send more pictures/ verify that I am indeed just a spicy Latina and not looking to profit from your kidneys. An Imgur link album for you heathens. Idk wtf I’m doing since Reddit won’t let me add it as a link in this post so this is all yall get. https://imgur.com/a/x8ZuWto

Please quell your expectations of me because truly I am mid as fuck in person and probably below average. If you wanted a hot friend for those IG worthy pics, I can’t be that but I can be the fat friend because I’m fat asf boiiiiii lmao. I just clean up well/ use filters (thank you Snapchat gods) and know how to work the angles that make me look the least gremlin-esque. Again quell your expectations, I am no beauty queen.

All of this being said, I’m only looking for platonic meetups/ chats. Last time I posted some of yall didn’t know how to act and sent me all sorts of vile shenanigans. I can tell some of yall didn’t get beat enough as children. Your ancestors would be ashamed at such ill-mannered cretins yall became. Not the first time and probably not the last time I’ve had to use this forewarning but please respect me as a human and don’t send weenie pics/ act like a complete muppet.

Enough of me hitting you with the ol’ razzle dazzle. Let’s get the ball rolling! Shoot me a message and regale me with tales of your shenanigans or general adventures or ask me about the 3 previous times I’ve broken other bones. I should think about investing in one of those giant bubble things to live inside of. Hopefully we can vibe and meet up for some dinner/ adventures or become new discord bffs!