Well hello hello there! Just your friendly neighborhood Latina here, looking for some friends in the Austin area. Dallas friends welcome as I’ll be in Dallas from 9/26-10/1.

Let me preface this by saying that I am only looking for platonic meetups/ chats. Last time I posted some of yall didn’t know how to act and sent me all sorts of vile shenanigans. I can tell some of yall didn’t get beat enough as children. Your ancestors would be ashamed at such ill-mannered cretins yall became.

Also looking to have actual convos with you before meeting up, preferably through discord, as I’m trying to foster new friendships/ connections with other little gremlins.

Buttttt, long story short life be life-ing and the plans I had made while visiting Dallas the end of the month fell through, thanks to humans doing what they do best and being shit.

I’m super burnt out and figured since I already had a flight from Austin (where I reside) booked I might as well make the most of it and have some fun vs dwelling on the bullshit life throws at us.

You might be wondering where you come in and why am I a blessing? Well, my future friend, sit back, relax and let me tell you why:

If you’re looking for some solid company and someone who loves good food with vigor, I’m your gal. I have curated an extensive list of places for my time in Dallas and you can bet your last shekel they’re amazing. Trust me, I’m thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal, I know food. 🤣

I’ve been told recently my ankles are weaker than Anthony Davis and Derick rose, thanks to the 2028266 breaks and twists. I can regale you with tales of my infinite clumsiness. You can laugh at my pain while enjoying delicious food/drinks.

Great wingwoman. I’m better than Dwayne wade at team assists. I will hype you up if you see a cutie and will make sure one of us scores.

Do you like doggos? Well you’re in luck, I happen to have a hell hound I can send copious amount of pictures of. Also pls send me all the pictures of your adorable pets. Not to be dramatic but I would probably die for them.

I’ve got quite the penchant for true crime and niche subreddits. What, pray tell does that mean for you?

Well glad you asked. I will always be skeptical of everything and distrust all and every situation. I’ll make sure our organs don’t end up harvested to the highest bidder.

Thicccc af. I’m talking thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal (extra points if you get the reference lol) I like to think of myself as perpetually thicc and tired. Trying to be less thicc and more tired and trying to lose some weight. On a journey to a healthier me. With that being said, if you’re also tired of being thicc and tired we can be each other’s accountability buddies orrrr reason for skipping the gym in favor of a hangout.

Huge introvert and really shy in person. I tend to dislike large crowds of people.

How does that benefit you, you may wonder?

Since Intimate more relaxed settings are my jam, I won’t be leaving you high and dry for another group of people. Humans make mw nervous but I might just ditch you for a pack of doggos. https://imgur.com/a/iWLJVm6

Looks don’t matter to me since I’m just looking for cool people to vibe with, but if you’re curious as to what I look like, I have a few pictures in my profile and I can verify that I am indeed just a spicy Latina and not looking to profit from your kidneys. For all you lazy heathens, here’s an Imgur linky link with some pictures.

Please quell your expectations of me because truly I am mid as fuck in person and probably below average. If you wanted a hot friend for those IG worthy pics, I can’t be that but I can be the fat friend because I’m fat asf boiiiiii lmao. I just clean up well/ use filters (thank you Snapchat gods) and know how to work the angles that make me look the least gremlin-esque. Again quell your expectations, I am no beauty queen.

Enough of me hitting you with the ol’ razzle dazzle. Let’s get the ball rolling! Shoot me a message and regale me with tales of your shenanigans or general adventures or ask me about the 3 previous times I’ve broken other bones. I should think about investing in one of those giant bubble things to live inside of. Hopefully we can vibe and meet up for some dinner/ adventures in Dallas!